Friday, October 20, 2006

Yes, This is My Life

Yesterday the kids and I were trying to get ready to go outside to play. I had succeeded in getting Malachi dressed earlier so now it was a matter of getting Lily to put on the clothes I told her to wear and getting myself dressed and presentable while keeping Malachi out of trouble. Here are the steps that we had to complete. This is pretty typical preparation for a trip to the great outdoors.

1.Tell Lily what clothes to wear for the umpteenth time
2. Trip to the potty for Lily
3. Pick out skirt for myself
4. Put said skirt on the hall floor while waiting for Lily to complete potty trip
5. Check email while still waiting for my turn at the potty
6. Hear Lily finish potty adventure and tell her again which clothes to wear
7. Hear splish-splashing sounds coming from potty room and catch Malachi playing in the toilet
8. Be thankful that Lily actually remembered to flush the toilet before Malachi got to it (this time)
9. Take my turn in the potty room and go back to the hall to get my skirt
10. Stare bewildered at the bare space of floor where my skirt lay a minute ago
11. Interrogate children about the whereabouts of the missing skirt
12. Receive all matter of unhelpful answers such as, “I don’t know.”
13. Follow Malachi to my bedroom where he is convinced the skirt is hidden
14. Try to follow his reasoning as he points to one of his daddy’s shirts saying, “Right there!”
15.Thank Malachi for his help and redouble efforts to locate skirt
16. See gas meter man out window and hope desperately that he won’t ring the doorbell and see me in my comfy, but unpresentable sweatpants
17. Finally discover the missing skirt tucked away in the dirty clothes hamper where it was placed by some well-meaning toddler
18. Don skirt, get coats and shoes on everyone and head outside
19. Play outside for approximately ten minutes before discovering that Lily has inadvertently been playing with wet tar
20. Start the next adventure of the day

1 comment:

a pain in the back said...

Did you remember to flush after your turn in the potty room?