It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining with all its brilliance, the sky was that shade of blue that makes you want to dance and the clouds were like puffs of pure white cotton hanging in the never ending blueness. I could feel the warm breeze on my face as I sped along on my trusty rollerblades.
I lifted my face to bask in the ethereal warmth when suddenly, from out of nowhere, a brick wall loomed up in front of me. I didn’t even have time to react. I couldn’t stop. I crashed into that solid wall going full speed, totally unprepared. The pain was blinding. I felt something shatter in my chest. It felt like shards of glass were exploding inside me, tearing holes in my veins and shredding my lungs to pieces. Breathing was impossible. Blackness. I had never known such pain.
That’s how I felt when my mom died.
Why do I write this?, you ask. First, believe it or not, it’s actually helpful for me. If I were to try to deny the existence of that pain then I would be a liar. If I forgot that pain then I would forget what I was rescued from.
Secondly, I hope to show you folks out there who still have your mom living on this earth what it was like to lose my mom so you can more fully appreciate your own mom.
When I change a yucky diaper I think about all my diapers that my mom changed. When I wake up in the middle of the night to care for a fussy baby I think about all the sleep my mom went without to care for me. When I’m exasperated at my children I think about what I must have put my mom through. And when I’m lonely during the day and ache for someone to talk to I remember how I could call my mom anytime to talk to her about anything and she would listen and understand.
Sure, my mom drove me crazy at times. It’s in the mother-daughter contract to get on each others nerves now and then. But she was my best friend and I loved her. And she loved me.
Imagine if your mom died today. Imagine never hearing her voice on the other end of the phone again. Imagine never again feeling her love for you. Is there something you would wish you had told her? Did you give her a hug the last time you saw her? Does she know that you truly appreciate everything she sacrificed for you? Does she know you love her?
Tell her. You never know if that brick wall will appear suddenly in front of you.