Wishful Thinking

Today was a pretty typical Sunday morning- cranky kids, cranky mamma and lots of hurrying around trying to get ready to go to church. It was also a rather gray, rainy morning so that added to my general feeling of blah. We got to church just fine and as I was saying good morning to a few people my mom wandered up and stole Zoe from me (hey, Grandma’s rights, you know?) I asked how she was doing today and she told me she hadn’t slept well last night because of back pain so she was a little out of it today. I told her how I was feeling down because of the weather and my crazy hormones. Then she suggested we come over for dinner tonight. Free food? We’ll be there!

After church we went home and the kids had their naps (I got one, too!) Then we loaded back up and headed out to Grandma and Grandpa B’s house. I’m not sure what it is about grandparents, but no matter how often my kids see them, they are still incredibly excited to see them again. We got to my parents’ house and of course, Malachi was the one to make the night interesting by slipping and falling in the mud as soon as we stepped out of the van. Boys will be boys, I guess. Mom grabbed a motley assortment of clothes for Malachi from the stash that she keeps around the house in preparation for such occurrences (she does have a lot of grandkids so she knows how to be prepared!)

Most of my siblings arrived a little later on and the adult to child ratio was quickly turning in the kids’ favor. We sat down to eat dinner which was the usual Sunday feast of the Ben-Ezras: pancakes! Mom brought the electric griddle out and cooked the pancakes right at the table like she has for as long as I can remember. Conversation ranged from politics (Seth did most of the talking here) to the sermon Dad preached this morning to latest movies we’ve all watched. Jonathan and Gabrielle managed to keep us all laughing like crazy throughout the meal. Evangeline got more syrup in her hair than on her pancakes and Lily spilled her milk all over Dad’s lap, but we’re all more or less used to those sorts of things.

Elizabeth and I helped Mom wash dishes and then we Gardners started gathering kids and getting ready to head back home. We gave hugs all around. Mom gave Joshua an extra hug and I heard her tell him that she knows it’s not easy living with an emotional woman, but he’s doing a good job. We got back home and put our tired kids to bed. The day had started out pretty rough, but somehow amidst the chaos of Sunday pancakes I forgot to feel sad and down. It’s times like this that I’m so grateful to live near my family. Where would I be without them?

Just a Thought

I don't feel well today. I've had the same headache for a few days now and it seems to like me more than I like it. But you know what? Someday I won't ever have headaches again. That thought is hard to process, but that thought helps me live better today. Even with my headache.

Someday It Will All Be Over

After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard

There is love
Love, love, love

And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We'll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

Excerpt from "After the Last Tear Falls" by Andrew Peterson


Someday there really will be a final gunshot and then only peace will reign. When Jesus comes back.