It’s been tough lately getting up in the morning and starting each day. It feels like I do the same thing day after day after day after day… I’m not depressed or even horribly discouraged, I’m just tired. It’s been a busy week and I feel like I’m running like mad always a mile behind where I should be. The laundry is piling up even though I just folded several baskets worth of the stuff yesterday. I cleaned the house and now it’s dirty again.
I really didn’t want to write a whiny blog post, but I did feel like just saying how I’m feeling. I’m not going to wallow about in self pity. Instead, I’m getting revved up to get right back into it. My orders are to fight and that’s just what I’m going to do today. And thanks to my dad’s very encouraging tweets this morning, I’m feeling like I can keep going now. God is moving in this family and He’s using my weak, tired hands to do His work.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Cor. 4:7
Showing posts with label thoughts on life here. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts on life here. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Memories, Laughter and What's To Come
One of the sillier memories that I have of my mom is when she first made her “stern” face. One night, during family devotions, one of us kids was acting up and so Mom, wanting to quietly deal with the disruptive kid so as to not interrupt my dad reading the Bible, gave the child a Look. She had meant for it to be a serious, sobering expression which would immediately render said child remorseful and quiet, but instead it came out as a goofy, rather ridiculous look which caused everyone who witnessed it to burst out laughing. Of course, we then had to ask Mom to repeat the face for those who didn’t get the first showing and pretty soon everyone (including Mom) was laughing like crazy. For years after this we’d still try to imitate that expression whenever we felt a laugh was needed.
So yesterday I was driving along I-90 when that memory popped into my head. I smiled to myself as I remembered the fun of that moment and at the same time my heart ached because that was all in the past. But then I remembered that I’m going to see my mom again and my whole family will get to sit around one table and we will get to laugh together again. “Yes,” I thought, “heaven is going to be so good.”
And then, like a flash, in my mind’s eye I saw another person sitting at the table with us- Jesus. He was laughing just as hard as we were and I think I even saw Him wipe away some tears, He was laughing so hard.
Yeah, it’ll be great to be reunited as a family again, never to be separated, but even more than that I’m looking forward to hanging out with Jesus and getting to laugh riotously with my savior.
Oh, it’s going to be so good. And if this reality is in my future, well, I guess I can hang in there for a bit longer.
So yesterday I was driving along I-90 when that memory popped into my head. I smiled to myself as I remembered the fun of that moment and at the same time my heart ached because that was all in the past. But then I remembered that I’m going to see my mom again and my whole family will get to sit around one table and we will get to laugh together again. “Yes,” I thought, “heaven is going to be so good.”
And then, like a flash, in my mind’s eye I saw another person sitting at the table with us- Jesus. He was laughing just as hard as we were and I think I even saw Him wipe away some tears, He was laughing so hard.
Yeah, it’ll be great to be reunited as a family again, never to be separated, but even more than that I’m looking forward to hanging out with Jesus and getting to laugh riotously with my savior.
Oh, it’s going to be so good. And if this reality is in my future, well, I guess I can hang in there for a bit longer.
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Quarter of a Century- Plus One
Each year as my birthday rolls around, I like to contemplate where I am in life and some of what’s happened in the past year. I feel like this birthday marks an emerging of sorts out of a dark, brutal year into a year of hope and discovery. As I struggled with postpartum depression I felt like I was simply unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel, but even though I couldn’t see it and simply didn’t even believe it existed, God still brought me through and now there are many days where I’m fairly dazzled by the brightness surrounding me.
This last year I’ve learned so much. I learned that life is hard and that’s normal for this world. I learned that it’s okay to feel like crap and I don’t have to try to make myself feel or seem happy. I learned that when I let people in and share my struggles and weaknesses with them that some of them will let me down and leave me worse than when I started. But I learned that some few precious people will sink down into the muck with me and pull me back out. I learned a bit more what it means that God is my dad. I learned that I can talk to Him about anything- He already knows it all anyway. I learned more about myself and how sinful I am, but I also got to see growth and good things happening in me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it was a good year.
Thank you, God, for walking with me this year and holding my frail little hand in your big, strong hand. Every time I tripped, You caught me and every time I managed to run, You cheered the loudest and ran with me. I love You, Daddy.
This last year I’ve learned so much. I learned that life is hard and that’s normal for this world. I learned that it’s okay to feel like crap and I don’t have to try to make myself feel or seem happy. I learned that when I let people in and share my struggles and weaknesses with them that some of them will let me down and leave me worse than when I started. But I learned that some few precious people will sink down into the muck with me and pull me back out. I learned a bit more what it means that God is my dad. I learned that I can talk to Him about anything- He already knows it all anyway. I learned more about myself and how sinful I am, but I also got to see growth and good things happening in me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it was a good year.
Thank you, God, for walking with me this year and holding my frail little hand in your big, strong hand. Every time I tripped, You caught me and every time I managed to run, You cheered the loudest and ran with me. I love You, Daddy.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Regulative Principle of Worship and How My Floors Got Muddy
There is a school of thought that says that God has given us strict and detailed instructions on how we are to worship Him and any deviation from these instructions or any addition to them is wrong. This topic comes up with some frequency in our household. Well, an interesting example of this occurred yesterday.
I had been cleaning all morning trying to get the house in some kind of order for the Bible study I was hosting that afternoon. After lunch I sent the kids outside to play. A few minutes later Evangeline excitedly ran inside with a little flower for me and Malachi quickly followed her with a bouquet of his own. But before I even looked at the flowers I noticed the trail of muddy footprints that followed my children across the freshly mopped floors. I’ve told them before to not come in the house with their boots on. At that moment I didn’t want their extra offerings- the flowers they picked for me- all I wanted was their obedience. They would have shown their love for me so much more if they had not picked the flowers, but rather obeyed me and not caused extra work for me. So the thought that God is picky about how we worship started to make sense. All the extra ways of worship aren’t actually pleasing to Him if they aren’t what He wants.
But if we stop there then aren’t we just right back to a gospel of works?
After I scolded the children and they showed remorse for disobeying me, I then turned my attention to the beautiful flower offerings. I gushed about how beautiful they were and I added them to my flower vase over the sink. I kissed my babies on their heads and thanked them for bringing me something so beautiful. No, they didn’t get it right. Yes, I still had a mess to clean up. But I know they were trying to please me and show me how they think I’m a special person. If I can forgive my children’s mistakes and accept their imperfect offerings then surely God can do even better. He demands holiness, but this little thing called Grace comes into play more than we realize. God’s favor toward us can overlook millions upon millions of stupid things we do. He still kisses us on our heads and He knows that we think He’s pretty special. And someday we’ll be able to show Him true, perfect worship when all our sin is stripped away. Oh, what a happy day that will be!
I had been cleaning all morning trying to get the house in some kind of order for the Bible study I was hosting that afternoon. After lunch I sent the kids outside to play. A few minutes later Evangeline excitedly ran inside with a little flower for me and Malachi quickly followed her with a bouquet of his own. But before I even looked at the flowers I noticed the trail of muddy footprints that followed my children across the freshly mopped floors. I’ve told them before to not come in the house with their boots on. At that moment I didn’t want their extra offerings- the flowers they picked for me- all I wanted was their obedience. They would have shown their love for me so much more if they had not picked the flowers, but rather obeyed me and not caused extra work for me. So the thought that God is picky about how we worship started to make sense. All the extra ways of worship aren’t actually pleasing to Him if they aren’t what He wants.
But if we stop there then aren’t we just right back to a gospel of works?
After I scolded the children and they showed remorse for disobeying me, I then turned my attention to the beautiful flower offerings. I gushed about how beautiful they were and I added them to my flower vase over the sink. I kissed my babies on their heads and thanked them for bringing me something so beautiful. No, they didn’t get it right. Yes, I still had a mess to clean up. But I know they were trying to please me and show me how they think I’m a special person. If I can forgive my children’s mistakes and accept their imperfect offerings then surely God can do even better. He demands holiness, but this little thing called Grace comes into play more than we realize. God’s favor toward us can overlook millions upon millions of stupid things we do. He still kisses us on our heads and He knows that we think He’s pretty special. And someday we’ll be able to show Him true, perfect worship when all our sin is stripped away. Oh, what a happy day that will be!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Happy Birthday, Mom
My mom taught me many crucial life lessons in her tenure as my teacher, but I think the one that has shaped my adult life the most is her teaching me to not be a wimp. She told me that sometimes the only way to get rid of pain is to go through it and get it over with. This maxim helped me through the births of my kids, but also through much of life’s everyday struggles. I can still hear Mom saying, “Your mama didn’t raise no wimp.” And that’s what I keep telling myself.
So today, on the anniversary of the day of her birth, my thoughts are turned toward my mom, my teacher, my friend. I’m not one to idolize the dead and elevate them higher than is right, but I do think it’s right to give credit where credit is due. My mom shaped me into the woman I grew up to be. She taught me every day as she lived out her life what it means to be a godly woman. She showed me how to be a loving mommy, how to sacrifice for the good of others, how to keep going when it seems like all strength is gone. She taught me to not run away from pain, but to bravely walk straight through it, knowing the whole time that God has got me by the hand and that just on the other side of this pain is peace and joy.
My mom wasn’t perfect. She was a sinner just like I am. But she was the perfect teacher for me and God made sure she taught me everything she was supposed to before He took her home. Now every day I live out her wisdom. There is pain now in this broken world, but I’m not going to run from it. Life is hard, but the only way to get rid of the pain is to walk boldly through it. My mom walked through it and she made it to the other side where there is peace and joy forevermore. My mamma wasn’t no wimp. And, by the grace of God, I’m going to be just like her.
So today, on the anniversary of the day of her birth, my thoughts are turned toward my mom, my teacher, my friend. I’m not one to idolize the dead and elevate them higher than is right, but I do think it’s right to give credit where credit is due. My mom shaped me into the woman I grew up to be. She taught me every day as she lived out her life what it means to be a godly woman. She showed me how to be a loving mommy, how to sacrifice for the good of others, how to keep going when it seems like all strength is gone. She taught me to not run away from pain, but to bravely walk straight through it, knowing the whole time that God has got me by the hand and that just on the other side of this pain is peace and joy.
My mom wasn’t perfect. She was a sinner just like I am. But she was the perfect teacher for me and God made sure she taught me everything she was supposed to before He took her home. Now every day I live out her wisdom. There is pain now in this broken world, but I’m not going to run from it. Life is hard, but the only way to get rid of the pain is to walk boldly through it. My mom walked through it and she made it to the other side where there is peace and joy forevermore. My mamma wasn’t no wimp. And, by the grace of God, I’m going to be just like her.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
My Calling
Lately I’ve been feeling discouraged. I feel like the work I do day after day is endless, thankless and just plain yucky. Some days I feel like I can’t possibly wipe one more poopy bum or deal with one more temper tantrum. I feel like a stable boy whose most important task is to shovel manure- every single day. Now, I know how important it is to have that manure shoveled and I know that if there wasn’t anyone willing to shovel it, then the whole farm would feel (and smell) the effects of that neglect. But that doesn’t make shoveling the manure any easier or any more fulfilling.
So here I am, shoveling away. Most of the time no one even notices that I’m the one clearing out all that yuck. And even if someone does notice they usual don’t bother to thank me. I’m just doing my job, after all. I know this is my part of the Kingdom work. I know that I’m down here in the muck and goo because this is where Jesus wants me to be. I know that the reason I’m lonely here is because there aren’t many others who are willing to be down here, too. And so I’m shoveling manure to the glory of God. There won’t be any glorious mountaintop moments here in the sewage- no, we don’t get any of those down here. I won’t ever be pretty and clean like the other women I see and even if, for a brief moment, I do manage to make myself presentable I’ll only slip and fall in a fresh pile of dung and be right back where I started- right back where I belong.
Yes, I am feeling pretty low right now. No, I don’t always feel like this. But right now I can’t seem to see past my own filthy nose. And yet, there is a tiny voice I still hear- a voice that’s telling me to hang in there and keep on shoveling because Jesus sees it all. He notices the work I do and He sees my face beneath the perpetual layer of grime. And He’s the one standing right next me, knee deep in it all, with a shovel in His hand, too. And I know that someday- maybe years from now, maybe minutes- He will pick me up, straighten out my aching back and gently wipe away all the dung, filth and tears from my face. And then I will hear the words that will make it all worthwhile, “Well done. You did all this for Me and I saw it all- every gross job you did and every hopeless day you faced. You’ve done it all and there’s no more dirty work for you to do. Come now and rest with Me. I’m so proud of you, my beautiful girl.”
Yes, that’s the thought that keeps me plodding along. So now I must pick up my shovel and roll up my sleeves. I’ve got work to do.
So here I am, shoveling away. Most of the time no one even notices that I’m the one clearing out all that yuck. And even if someone does notice they usual don’t bother to thank me. I’m just doing my job, after all. I know this is my part of the Kingdom work. I know that I’m down here in the muck and goo because this is where Jesus wants me to be. I know that the reason I’m lonely here is because there aren’t many others who are willing to be down here, too. And so I’m shoveling manure to the glory of God. There won’t be any glorious mountaintop moments here in the sewage- no, we don’t get any of those down here. I won’t ever be pretty and clean like the other women I see and even if, for a brief moment, I do manage to make myself presentable I’ll only slip and fall in a fresh pile of dung and be right back where I started- right back where I belong.
Yes, I am feeling pretty low right now. No, I don’t always feel like this. But right now I can’t seem to see past my own filthy nose. And yet, there is a tiny voice I still hear- a voice that’s telling me to hang in there and keep on shoveling because Jesus sees it all. He notices the work I do and He sees my face beneath the perpetual layer of grime. And He’s the one standing right next me, knee deep in it all, with a shovel in His hand, too. And I know that someday- maybe years from now, maybe minutes- He will pick me up, straighten out my aching back and gently wipe away all the dung, filth and tears from my face. And then I will hear the words that will make it all worthwhile, “Well done. You did all this for Me and I saw it all- every gross job you did and every hopeless day you faced. You’ve done it all and there’s no more dirty work for you to do. Come now and rest with Me. I’m so proud of you, my beautiful girl.”
Yes, that’s the thought that keeps me plodding along. So now I must pick up my shovel and roll up my sleeves. I’ve got work to do.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wishful Thinking
Today was a pretty typical Sunday morning- cranky kids, cranky mamma and lots of hurrying around trying to get ready to go to church. It was also a rather gray, rainy morning so that added to my general feeling of blah. We got to church just fine and as I was saying good morning to a few people my mom wandered up and stole Zoe from me (hey, Grandma’s rights, you know?) I asked how she was doing today and she told me she hadn’t slept well last night because of back pain so she was a little out of it today. I told her how I was feeling down because of the weather and my crazy hormones. Then she suggested we come over for dinner tonight. Free food? We’ll be there!
After church we went home and the kids had their naps (I got one, too!) Then we loaded back up and headed out to Grandma and Grandpa B’s house. I’m not sure what it is about grandparents, but no matter how often my kids see them, they are still incredibly excited to see them again. We got to my parents’ house and of course, Malachi was the one to make the night interesting by slipping and falling in the mud as soon as we stepped out of the van. Boys will be boys, I guess. Mom grabbed a motley assortment of clothes for Malachi from the stash that she keeps around the house in preparation for such occurrences (she does have a lot of grandkids so she knows how to be prepared!)
Most of my siblings arrived a little later on and the adult to child ratio was quickly turning in the kids’ favor. We sat down to eat dinner which was the usual Sunday feast of the Ben-Ezras: pancakes! Mom brought the electric griddle out and cooked the pancakes right at the table like she has for as long as I can remember. Conversation ranged from politics (Seth did most of the talking here) to the sermon Dad preached this morning to latest movies we’ve all watched. Jonathan and Gabrielle managed to keep us all laughing like crazy throughout the meal. Evangeline got more syrup in her hair than on her pancakes and Lily spilled her milk all over Dad’s lap, but we’re all more or less used to those sorts of things.
Elizabeth and I helped Mom wash dishes and then we Gardners started gathering kids and getting ready to head back home. We gave hugs all around. Mom gave Joshua an extra hug and I heard her tell him that she knows it’s not easy living with an emotional woman, but he’s doing a good job. We got back home and put our tired kids to bed. The day had started out pretty rough, but somehow amidst the chaos of Sunday pancakes I forgot to feel sad and down. It’s times like this that I’m so grateful to live near my family. Where would I be without them?
After church we went home and the kids had their naps (I got one, too!) Then we loaded back up and headed out to Grandma and Grandpa B’s house. I’m not sure what it is about grandparents, but no matter how often my kids see them, they are still incredibly excited to see them again. We got to my parents’ house and of course, Malachi was the one to make the night interesting by slipping and falling in the mud as soon as we stepped out of the van. Boys will be boys, I guess. Mom grabbed a motley assortment of clothes for Malachi from the stash that she keeps around the house in preparation for such occurrences (she does have a lot of grandkids so she knows how to be prepared!)
Most of my siblings arrived a little later on and the adult to child ratio was quickly turning in the kids’ favor. We sat down to eat dinner which was the usual Sunday feast of the Ben-Ezras: pancakes! Mom brought the electric griddle out and cooked the pancakes right at the table like she has for as long as I can remember. Conversation ranged from politics (Seth did most of the talking here) to the sermon Dad preached this morning to latest movies we’ve all watched. Jonathan and Gabrielle managed to keep us all laughing like crazy throughout the meal. Evangeline got more syrup in her hair than on her pancakes and Lily spilled her milk all over Dad’s lap, but we’re all more or less used to those sorts of things.
Elizabeth and I helped Mom wash dishes and then we Gardners started gathering kids and getting ready to head back home. We gave hugs all around. Mom gave Joshua an extra hug and I heard her tell him that she knows it’s not easy living with an emotional woman, but he’s doing a good job. We got back home and put our tired kids to bed. The day had started out pretty rough, but somehow amidst the chaos of Sunday pancakes I forgot to feel sad and down. It’s times like this that I’m so grateful to live near my family. Where would I be without them?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Musings, Ramblings and Thoughts About My 25th Birthday
So today I turn a quarter of a century old. I was trying to determine if I feel really old now or still really young and I've decided that I feel young. I still think of myself as a sixteen-year-old petty teenager at times and I'm not sure when I'll start feeling like a "grown-up." Yes, I've got responsibilities out the kazoo, but I still can't seem to get a grip on being an adult. Maybe I'll figure it out by the time I'm 30 or maybe by 60.
Sometimes it feels strange to have skipped the college phase of life when most of my peers chose that path. I don't regret not going to college- I just wish I had a friend who didn't go either. It'd sure be nice to have someone my own age to talk to about potty training methods, homeschooling, and what to do with an emotional 5-almost 6-year-old. It'd sure be nice to not be the youngest mother in my social circle.
Oh, well! God saw fit to put me here and now and so here and now is where I will bloom. God has done some amazingly beautiful and harsh things to me in these past 25 years- more than I thought could fit into 25 years! It's exciting and a little bit frightening to think about what He'll do in the next 25 years. But whatever crazy stuff He's got in store for me, I know it'll be better than I can fathom right now. Golly, it takes a lot of faith to trust God with my future! But He's proven Himself trustworthy in the past so I guess I'm just going to have to close my eyes, grab His hand and jump right in to this new quarter of a century. Here goes!
Happy Birthday to me!
Sometimes it feels strange to have skipped the college phase of life when most of my peers chose that path. I don't regret not going to college- I just wish I had a friend who didn't go either. It'd sure be nice to have someone my own age to talk to about potty training methods, homeschooling, and what to do with an emotional 5-almost 6-year-old. It'd sure be nice to not be the youngest mother in my social circle.
Oh, well! God saw fit to put me here and now and so here and now is where I will bloom. God has done some amazingly beautiful and harsh things to me in these past 25 years- more than I thought could fit into 25 years! It's exciting and a little bit frightening to think about what He'll do in the next 25 years. But whatever crazy stuff He's got in store for me, I know it'll be better than I can fathom right now. Golly, it takes a lot of faith to trust God with my future! But He's proven Himself trustworthy in the past so I guess I'm just going to have to close my eyes, grab His hand and jump right in to this new quarter of a century. Here goes!
Happy Birthday to me!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring, Spring!
The calendar tells me it's Spring, but the sprinkling of snow this morning says differently. But to help keep my hope alive, I thought I'd post this little ditty that I wrote and posted a few years back. Spring is coming!
The frost is over and so is the freeze,
Spring is coming- I can feel it in the breeze.
I see the green grasses bursting from the brown soil.
The birds build their nests and the ant starts its toil.
Snow has melted and left bluebells in its stead,
Ivy replaces icicles as around trees it starts to thread.
Life is coming from in the winter cocoon it was hiding.
The butterfly is flying in the sweet air now abiding.
Creation sings out songs pure, sweet- praising
To our Lord as these dead He is now raising.
The bees hum out laud and the birds sing out thanks,
The rivers clap their hands, leaping over their banks.
We join in with all our weak might,
Praising the God we know by faith but not yet by sight.
The bright flowers are beautiful the blue sky so clear
It’s times like this we feel that God is near,
But what about the pain we feel and the people that we miss?
Wait now and remember that Heaven is even nicer than this.
The frost is over and so is the freeze,
Spring is coming- I can feel it in the breeze.
I see the green grasses bursting from the brown soil.
The birds build their nests and the ant starts its toil.
Snow has melted and left bluebells in its stead,
Ivy replaces icicles as around trees it starts to thread.
Life is coming from in the winter cocoon it was hiding.
The butterfly is flying in the sweet air now abiding.
Creation sings out songs pure, sweet- praising
To our Lord as these dead He is now raising.
The bees hum out laud and the birds sing out thanks,
The rivers clap their hands, leaping over their banks.
We join in with all our weak might,
Praising the God we know by faith but not yet by sight.
The bright flowers are beautiful the blue sky so clear
It’s times like this we feel that God is near,
But what about the pain we feel and the people that we miss?
Wait now and remember that Heaven is even nicer than this.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Happy Thought
Yesterday I gave the kids ice cream with chocolate sauce for a special snack. Their excitement was palpable. They laughed as I spooned out the ice cream. And as I poured on the chocolate sauce they eagerly called to each other to sit down at the table so they enjoy this wonderful treat. Their giggles and enjoyement continued as long as the ice cream lasted. It made me so happy.
And then I thought: Is this how God feels when He gives me a gift? Does He feel this much joy in seeing me be happy? Of course, the answer is no- He feels more. He has even more joy in being my Father than I have in being a mother.
Wow. What a thought!
And then I thought: Is this how God feels when He gives me a gift? Does He feel this much joy in seeing me be happy? Of course, the answer is no- He feels more. He has even more joy in being my Father than I have in being a mother.
Wow. What a thought!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Dumb and Dumber
From time to time I like to meditate on some of the more truly stupid issues we humans deal with (and get used to) on this fallen planet. There are those petty arguments between friends, stubbed toes, chapped lips and lima beans just to name a few. The latest item I've added to my list is the goodbye.
I mean, who's dumb idea was that one? Here's a great example of its stupidity: imagine a small handful of people who have known each other since birth, grown up in the same home, and shared the same parents, memories and bathroom. These people have held each other up during tough times and also enjoyed some pretty uproariously good times together, too. Then imagine them one day all saying goodbye to each other and separating to various parts of the country only to see each other once or twice a year and maybe have the occasional phone call.
Pretty dumb, huh?
Or how about this one: let's say there's a young woman who has a few babies and raises them and loves them into adulthood and one day- boom!- she leaves them all, never to return. Isn't that just most asinine thing you've ever heard?
And yet, we take it all in stride and say it's part of life- because, well, it is part of life here. But my husband reminded me just today that it won't always be like this. The stupid goodbye will never happen in Heaven.
Here's hoping the Land of Endless Hello comes soon.
I mean, who's dumb idea was that one? Here's a great example of its stupidity: imagine a small handful of people who have known each other since birth, grown up in the same home, and shared the same parents, memories and bathroom. These people have held each other up during tough times and also enjoyed some pretty uproariously good times together, too. Then imagine them one day all saying goodbye to each other and separating to various parts of the country only to see each other once or twice a year and maybe have the occasional phone call.
Pretty dumb, huh?
Or how about this one: let's say there's a young woman who has a few babies and raises them and loves them into adulthood and one day- boom!- she leaves them all, never to return. Isn't that just most asinine thing you've ever heard?
And yet, we take it all in stride and say it's part of life- because, well, it is part of life here. But my husband reminded me just today that it won't always be like this. The stupid goodbye will never happen in Heaven.
Here's hoping the Land of Endless Hello comes soon.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
From My Heart To Yours
Throughout the earliest stages of this pregnancy, I have been struggling with fear. I've been afraid of the possibility of miscarriage. After all, don't women who have their children close together have a greater chance of miscarriage? I've never had a miscarriage- isn't it my turn? I would imagine what it'd feel like to go into my next midwife appointment only to find that there is no heartbeat and my baby has died. These fears were starting to eat me up inside and I felt like panic was always just below the surface.
It took me some time and a lot of crying out to God, but I reached the point of being able to say, "God, you are in control here. You can give my baby life or You can take it away. You are good so I trust You no matter what you decide."
Last Friday I went in for my check up. I lay down on the exam table and the midwife got the doppler tool they use to hear the heartbeat. She put it on my belly, wiggled it around and... nothing. She couldn't find a heartbeat. She tried a different spot- still no heartbeat. She pushed on my belly until it hurt, still trying to find that gentle beating. I heard my own heart's beat, but not my child's.
I tried to not cry. I prayed, silently screaming the words, "God, please!" Then I fought down the panic and I was able say to Him, "Whatever you decide, I trust You. God, help me." In that moment God was asking me, "So did you really mean what you said about trusting Me? Are you really willing to trust me even now?" And I found I was able to answer- through tears- "Yes, Lord, I trust You. Even now."
And, suddenly, I heard the heartbeat.
The gentle whooshing of my baby's little heart was strong and healthy. He had just been tucked away in there and hiding from us. I breathed a prayer of thanks.
I cried the whole way home that morning. I had had quite a scare, but I realized that I had also passed the test. It's not often that I pass the tests that God gives me and I felt such joy- again through tears- that my faith has grown enough to pass this one. God has done some really horrible things to me. I have experienced what it's like to see a sonogram and know that baby wouldn't live. But I am able to say, with full certainty, that my God is good.
I write this with the hope that you, too, can now look back on the various heartaches you've endured and see that God brought you through them all and He was holding you close the entire time. He asks a lot of us when He tells us to trust Him, but He is always worthy of our complete trust.
And all these tears that we've cried through these hardships have been counted and stored by the One who sees all and one day He will wipe them all away.
It took me some time and a lot of crying out to God, but I reached the point of being able to say, "God, you are in control here. You can give my baby life or You can take it away. You are good so I trust You no matter what you decide."
Last Friday I went in for my check up. I lay down on the exam table and the midwife got the doppler tool they use to hear the heartbeat. She put it on my belly, wiggled it around and... nothing. She couldn't find a heartbeat. She tried a different spot- still no heartbeat. She pushed on my belly until it hurt, still trying to find that gentle beating. I heard my own heart's beat, but not my child's.
I tried to not cry. I prayed, silently screaming the words, "God, please!" Then I fought down the panic and I was able say to Him, "Whatever you decide, I trust You. God, help me." In that moment God was asking me, "So did you really mean what you said about trusting Me? Are you really willing to trust me even now?" And I found I was able to answer- through tears- "Yes, Lord, I trust You. Even now."
And, suddenly, I heard the heartbeat.
The gentle whooshing of my baby's little heart was strong and healthy. He had just been tucked away in there and hiding from us. I breathed a prayer of thanks.
I cried the whole way home that morning. I had had quite a scare, but I realized that I had also passed the test. It's not often that I pass the tests that God gives me and I felt such joy- again through tears- that my faith has grown enough to pass this one. God has done some really horrible things to me. I have experienced what it's like to see a sonogram and know that baby wouldn't live. But I am able to say, with full certainty, that my God is good.
I write this with the hope that you, too, can now look back on the various heartaches you've endured and see that God brought you through them all and He was holding you close the entire time. He asks a lot of us when He tells us to trust Him, but He is always worthy of our complete trust.
And all these tears that we've cried through these hardships have been counted and stored by the One who sees all and one day He will wipe them all away.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
A Suggestion
About a year ago, my family and I were out taking a leisurely Sabbath afternoon walk and our steps took us past the local nursing home. There were a few elderly patrons sitting outside enjoying the fresh air and they were staring and smiling at the kids so we walked over to say hi. They introduced themselves as Paul and Betty. Betty lives at the home and Paul, her husband, constantly comes to visit her. We said we'd come see them again and they were excited at the prospect.
It's been over a year now and we've been visiting Paul and Betty on various Sundays ever since. We try to make it every other week or so. We've also made a few new friends there. Ginny, a single woman who lives at the home and doesn't have any family nearby is always thrilled to see us. She doesn't remember us from visit to visit, but the kids always bring a smile (and sometimes tears) to her face.
I'm mentioning all this because this experience has been a really good thing for our family. We are training our kids to be unselfish with their time and to be kind to others. The kids used to be a little scared of the older folks, but now they ask every Sunday, "Can we go see the elderly today?" God gave us this little ministry and we are so glad He did. Each time we visit the elderly and bless them through the simple joy of a young child's hug, it's as though we are doing it to Jesus and we, in turn, will be blessed for it.
There are some weeks that I don't want to go to the nursing home and there have been times when we didn't go when perhaps we shouldn't have skipped it. So we're not perfect here. But I feel it our duty to share this tiny way in which we are endeavouring to obey Jesus and to suggest to you that you do the same. Your ministry will be different from ours and maybe visiting a nursing home isn't practical for you, but please consider doing something. Jesus is pretty clear when He told us to visit the sick, prisoners, etc.
Anyway, like I said, each of our ministries will look different, but may I encourage you to be sure you are ministering in some way?
It's been over a year now and we've been visiting Paul and Betty on various Sundays ever since. We try to make it every other week or so. We've also made a few new friends there. Ginny, a single woman who lives at the home and doesn't have any family nearby is always thrilled to see us. She doesn't remember us from visit to visit, but the kids always bring a smile (and sometimes tears) to her face.
I'm mentioning all this because this experience has been a really good thing for our family. We are training our kids to be unselfish with their time and to be kind to others. The kids used to be a little scared of the older folks, but now they ask every Sunday, "Can we go see the elderly today?" God gave us this little ministry and we are so glad He did. Each time we visit the elderly and bless them through the simple joy of a young child's hug, it's as though we are doing it to Jesus and we, in turn, will be blessed for it.
There are some weeks that I don't want to go to the nursing home and there have been times when we didn't go when perhaps we shouldn't have skipped it. So we're not perfect here. But I feel it our duty to share this tiny way in which we are endeavouring to obey Jesus and to suggest to you that you do the same. Your ministry will be different from ours and maybe visiting a nursing home isn't practical for you, but please consider doing something. Jesus is pretty clear when He told us to visit the sick, prisoners, etc.
Anyway, like I said, each of our ministries will look different, but may I encourage you to be sure you are ministering in some way?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A Poem
Here's an exerpt from a poem written by Kevin Swanson for his mother. It's so lovely and just what I needed to hear.
Some will stand in the gates.
Make a name in the state.
But she's in the kitchen
Surrounded by children.
Nothing big in the world's estimation,
Just taking that world with the next generation.
A glorious woman
Jehovah has given.
Worthy of such honor
No mere man could proffer.
In the eyes of the world, there's nothing to see.
But then, that world was never worthy of these.
Some will stand in the gates.
Make a name in the state.
But she's in the kitchen
Surrounded by children.
Nothing big in the world's estimation,
Just taking that world with the next generation.
A glorious woman
Jehovah has given.
Worthy of such honor
No mere man could proffer.
In the eyes of the world, there's nothing to see.
But then, that world was never worthy of these.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Yet Another Great Quote from Pastor Piper
A quote from John Piper's essay, "Talking to Your Tears:"
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6
“This psalm teaches the tough truth that there is work to be done whether I am emotionally up for it or not, and it is good for me to do it. Suppose you are in a season of heartache and discouragement, and it is time to sow seed. Do you say, ‘I can’t sow the field this spring, because I am brokenhearted and discouraged’? If you do that, you will not eat in the winter. Suppose you say instead, ‘I am heartsick and discouraged. I cry if the milk spills at breakfast. I cry if the phone and doorbell ring at the same time. I cry for no reason at all, but the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears.’
If you do that, the promise of this psalm is that you will ‘reap with shouts of joy.’ You will ‘come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you,’ not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping. We need to remember this even when our tears tempt us to give up sowing.”
----A Godward Life, pp. 89-90
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6
“This psalm teaches the tough truth that there is work to be done whether I am emotionally up for it or not, and it is good for me to do it. Suppose you are in a season of heartache and discouragement, and it is time to sow seed. Do you say, ‘I can’t sow the field this spring, because I am brokenhearted and discouraged’? If you do that, you will not eat in the winter. Suppose you say instead, ‘I am heartsick and discouraged. I cry if the milk spills at breakfast. I cry if the phone and doorbell ring at the same time. I cry for no reason at all, but the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears.’
If you do that, the promise of this psalm is that you will ‘reap with shouts of joy.’ You will ‘come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you,’ not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping. We need to remember this even when our tears tempt us to give up sowing.”
----A Godward Life, pp. 89-90
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Just a Thought
I don't feel well today. I've had the same headache for a few days now and it seems to like me more than I like it. But you know what? Someday I won't ever have headaches again. That thought is hard to process, but that thought helps me live better today. Even with my headache.
Friday, February 01, 2008
The Art of Dance
As some of you well know, I am a dancer. I haven't actually danced a choreographed dance in quite some time and since having kids my body doesn't move in quite the same way that it did when I was a teenager, but nonetheless I still consider myself a dancer. I feel music and I express myself through dance.
This last December I went to a performance of the ballet The Nutcracker and it was then that I realized that I don't really like ballet. This is significant because ballet was my first introduction to dance and I took ballet lessons for several years. So I started thinking about dance and what it is and what its purpose is. And now I just have a bunch of questions about dance and no real answers. Is there an ideal form of dance? Are some forms not as "true" as others? Does dance have to be visually appealing?
I thought it'd be interesting to search YouTube and see different styles of dance. I wanted to share my findings with you all. I realize it would be quite time consuming to watch all these videos in their entirety, but I do hope you'll watch enough of each to get a real feel for that dance.
First, right here is why I don't like ballet. Yawn. If I were to watch or dance ballet I'd much rather it be more like this. It looks much more fun and much less stoic.
Something that I have been enjoying lately is break dancing. My one qualm with it is that it tends to get very "show-offy" and the performer ceases to dance and just starts to display his skills. I think any type of dance can fall into this and it really, really, bugs me when it does.
Here is one example of this showing off mentality. I don't think this Chinese ballet counts as true dance, but if you skip to a little before the six minute mark you'll see a woman balancing on one leg- on pointe- on top of her partner's head. Wow. I have to ask why anyone would want to do that, but hey, it's still impressive.
My search for dance led me to a kind of dancing that I had never heard of until a few months ago. It's called house dance. When I first saw it, I totally didn't get it, but when I saw this video, it made much more sense to me. It is a freestyle sort of dance that seems like it would allow the dancer to feel the music and flow with it. When someone house dances well they are intimately involved with the music. This video show several different house dancers-each with their own particular style.
Just how would you describe this type of dance to someone? It's a Japanese tribal hip hop thingy, I guess. I don't know what to say about it except that I like it. I think.
Gaby introduced me to Parkour- The Art of Movement. (this video gets very good at around the 2:45mark.) These people are celebrating the joy and freedom of moving. They don't use music, but does that make a difference in dance? I think parkour is the closet thing I've ever seen to man learning to fly.
And now we come to Robam Joun Por. This dance is so foreign to me that I have trouble appreciating it. But if you look closely at the way the dancers move their heads ever so slightly, you see that they are dancing to a strange melody that is almost beneath the music we hear. It looks so stiff to us Americans, but in watching it a few times I was able to see how that, too, is a beautiful style of dance. Though that doesn't mean I like it.
So now you've seen a small, but very diverse collection of dances. It's amazing to me to watch them all back to back- my neck still hurts from the whiplash. God created our bodies in such an intricate way and has given us the ability to dance. In some way, all these dances show us something of the beauty of our God. I'm overwhelmed with the magnitude of this thing called dance. Just imagine, what would dance look like if it was done by perfect, sinless bodies? Someday we'll find out.
So now that I've rambled on and posted a plethora of links that I don't even know if anyone will watch, does anyone have any thoughts about dance?
This last December I went to a performance of the ballet The Nutcracker and it was then that I realized that I don't really like ballet. This is significant because ballet was my first introduction to dance and I took ballet lessons for several years. So I started thinking about dance and what it is and what its purpose is. And now I just have a bunch of questions about dance and no real answers. Is there an ideal form of dance? Are some forms not as "true" as others? Does dance have to be visually appealing?
I thought it'd be interesting to search YouTube and see different styles of dance. I wanted to share my findings with you all. I realize it would be quite time consuming to watch all these videos in their entirety, but I do hope you'll watch enough of each to get a real feel for that dance.
First, right here is why I don't like ballet. Yawn. If I were to watch or dance ballet I'd much rather it be more like this. It looks much more fun and much less stoic.
Something that I have been enjoying lately is break dancing. My one qualm with it is that it tends to get very "show-offy" and the performer ceases to dance and just starts to display his skills. I think any type of dance can fall into this and it really, really, bugs me when it does.
Here is one example of this showing off mentality. I don't think this Chinese ballet counts as true dance, but if you skip to a little before the six minute mark you'll see a woman balancing on one leg- on pointe- on top of her partner's head. Wow. I have to ask why anyone would want to do that, but hey, it's still impressive.
My search for dance led me to a kind of dancing that I had never heard of until a few months ago. It's called house dance. When I first saw it, I totally didn't get it, but when I saw this video, it made much more sense to me. It is a freestyle sort of dance that seems like it would allow the dancer to feel the music and flow with it. When someone house dances well they are intimately involved with the music. This video show several different house dancers-each with their own particular style.
Just how would you describe this type of dance to someone? It's a Japanese tribal hip hop thingy, I guess. I don't know what to say about it except that I like it. I think.
Gaby introduced me to Parkour- The Art of Movement. (this video gets very good at around the 2:45mark.) These people are celebrating the joy and freedom of moving. They don't use music, but does that make a difference in dance? I think parkour is the closet thing I've ever seen to man learning to fly.
And now we come to Robam Joun Por. This dance is so foreign to me that I have trouble appreciating it. But if you look closely at the way the dancers move their heads ever so slightly, you see that they are dancing to a strange melody that is almost beneath the music we hear. It looks so stiff to us Americans, but in watching it a few times I was able to see how that, too, is a beautiful style of dance. Though that doesn't mean I like it.
So now you've seen a small, but very diverse collection of dances. It's amazing to me to watch them all back to back- my neck still hurts from the whiplash. God created our bodies in such an intricate way and has given us the ability to dance. In some way, all these dances show us something of the beauty of our God. I'm overwhelmed with the magnitude of this thing called dance. Just imagine, what would dance look like if it was done by perfect, sinless bodies? Someday we'll find out.
So now that I've rambled on and posted a plethora of links that I don't even know if anyone will watch, does anyone have any thoughts about dance?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
About Saying Goodbye
I suppose it’s all about saying goodbye
And that feeling in your throat when you have to cry
Big brother moved away- farther than I’d known
Even with the six of us I still felt so alone
I remember when Mom’s dad was sick and so weak
I can still feel where the tears ran on my cheek
We were snuggled on Mom’s bed when she told us he would die
I asked a lot of questions, all of them wondering “why?”
My grandma also early left this gray place
Dad collapsed in Mom’s arms, grief etched on his face
Nieces and nephews never born, never met
The grief then captured us like a twisting invisible net
Then came the day my mommy’s heart stopped beating
She lay in bed where the machines kept her breathing
I was at home when the call came: “Come say goodbye.”
The prayers I prayed then- desperate- did my God deny
Every time I feel the sting of Death’s sharp knife
I think I can’t take much more before it claims my own life
I’ll never forget mourning the death of my baby- the one I’d never hold
“It gets easier. You’ll laugh again.” that’s what I was told
It’s true that I laugh now and feel joy once again
But I’ll never in this life be rid of the pain
The pain of conquered death so real, so real
The pain of a broken heart, too scarred to fully heal
My hope is sure, I know my hope will come to be
My hope is of a perfect life- a life that was bought for me
There will be no more goodbyes in the land of my king
My tears will be gone then and I’ll forever sing
But I’m not there yet and it hurts to be here
As I continue to lose all that I hold dear
So for now I suppose it’s all about saying goodbye
And that feeling in your throat when you have to cry
And that feeling in your throat when you have to cry
Big brother moved away- farther than I’d known
Even with the six of us I still felt so alone
I remember when Mom’s dad was sick and so weak
I can still feel where the tears ran on my cheek
We were snuggled on Mom’s bed when she told us he would die
I asked a lot of questions, all of them wondering “why?”
My grandma also early left this gray place
Dad collapsed in Mom’s arms, grief etched on his face
Nieces and nephews never born, never met
The grief then captured us like a twisting invisible net
Then came the day my mommy’s heart stopped beating
She lay in bed where the machines kept her breathing
I was at home when the call came: “Come say goodbye.”
The prayers I prayed then- desperate- did my God deny
Every time I feel the sting of Death’s sharp knife
I think I can’t take much more before it claims my own life
I’ll never forget mourning the death of my baby- the one I’d never hold
“It gets easier. You’ll laugh again.” that’s what I was told
It’s true that I laugh now and feel joy once again
But I’ll never in this life be rid of the pain
The pain of conquered death so real, so real
The pain of a broken heart, too scarred to fully heal
My hope is sure, I know my hope will come to be
My hope is of a perfect life- a life that was bought for me
There will be no more goodbyes in the land of my king
My tears will be gone then and I’ll forever sing
But I’m not there yet and it hurts to be here
As I continue to lose all that I hold dear
So for now I suppose it’s all about saying goodbye
And that feeling in your throat when you have to cry
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Angels Shop at Wal-Mart
I am convinced that even though Wal-Mart may have certain Babylonian tendencies, God enjoys using it as a teaching place for me. On many occasions I have been struck with some thought or experience of God during my shopping excursions to Wal-Mart. I’d like to share a few of these with you.
When I was pregnant with Evangeline I mostly got my “morning” sickness in the evenings. So there I was, doing our grocery shopping and feeling like I was going to either pass out or throw up- whichever came first- in the cereal aisle and I was trying to find a cereal that I could stomach. I usually live on cereal when I’m pregnant so this was an important food to me at the time. I felt daunted by the varieties of cereals (and let’s not forget the feeling of impending puking) so I desperately prayed, “God, show me which cereal to get!” Immediately, my eyes fell on a green box of Chex cereal. I grabbed it, thanked God, and continued with my shopping. I knew in that moment that God is intimately concerned with even the most seemingly mundane details of my life. He knew how miserable I felt and how overwhelmed I was by the simple chore of picking out a cereal so He divinely picked out a cereal for me and in that way, He showed me that He loves me.
Usually when I shop at Wal-Mart, I feel tense because I’m trying to not spend too much money while still getting good things for my family. I’m constantly feeling tempted by all the racks of clothing I shouldn’t buy, the special foods that don’t fit in our budget, the cute toys I know the kids would enjoy, etc. I feel the temptations of the world bombarding me as I shop at Wal-Mart. And even if the temptations aren’t obvious to me at the time, I know they are always there. Until I step into the parking lot, that is. Wal-Mart’s parking lot is big enough to build an entire neighborhood on and the sky over it is as big as Montana. As soon as I step out of the store the beauty and breadth of the sky takes my breath away and I am reminded that life is not shopping and buying and attaining things, but rather it is glorifying the Creator of so awesome a sight. I can feel the glory of God as His artwork hangs over the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Since I recognize the many temptations that face me at Wal-Mart, I try to pray each time that I prepare to go to that store. One evening, as I was walking from my van to the store I was praying when I felt a sudden jolt in my spirit. I felt like my eyes were opened and as I looked at the other people about to enter the store with me, I realized that I was different from them. I realized that I am not just another shopper at Wal-Mart. I am a child of Yahweh. I felt like I should be glowing for all the glory that lives inside me. I looked at the other shoppers and I wanted them to have this glory, too.
Now, maybe these stories seem a little odd to you. Maybe you think I’m seeing too much into things and making a big deal out of nothing. I suppose that’s possible except for this- I know my God the way I do because of what He shows me when I shop at Wal-Mart. Of course, He speaks more fully in the preaching of the Word and in Bible reading. If this was the only place I ever listened to God then I’d have some serious problems, indeed! But for some reason God chose Wal-Mart, of all places, to show me how real He is and to impress certain truths on my heart. Now when I’m having a frustrating time trying to get dinner on the table or some such thing I remember that God helped me pick out some breakfast cereal so surely He cares about each and every detail and He can even help me get dinner on the table.
How does all this work? Is it Jesus who walks with me as I push my cart? Or does He send an angel or two with me every time I go to Wal-Mart? I don’t know how this works, but I don’t need to know. All I need is to know and understand that the God I serve is so big that He can reveal Himself to His people using the most unlikely tools. He can even use Wal-Mart.
When I was pregnant with Evangeline I mostly got my “morning” sickness in the evenings. So there I was, doing our grocery shopping and feeling like I was going to either pass out or throw up- whichever came first- in the cereal aisle and I was trying to find a cereal that I could stomach. I usually live on cereal when I’m pregnant so this was an important food to me at the time. I felt daunted by the varieties of cereals (and let’s not forget the feeling of impending puking) so I desperately prayed, “God, show me which cereal to get!” Immediately, my eyes fell on a green box of Chex cereal. I grabbed it, thanked God, and continued with my shopping. I knew in that moment that God is intimately concerned with even the most seemingly mundane details of my life. He knew how miserable I felt and how overwhelmed I was by the simple chore of picking out a cereal so He divinely picked out a cereal for me and in that way, He showed me that He loves me.
Usually when I shop at Wal-Mart, I feel tense because I’m trying to not spend too much money while still getting good things for my family. I’m constantly feeling tempted by all the racks of clothing I shouldn’t buy, the special foods that don’t fit in our budget, the cute toys I know the kids would enjoy, etc. I feel the temptations of the world bombarding me as I shop at Wal-Mart. And even if the temptations aren’t obvious to me at the time, I know they are always there. Until I step into the parking lot, that is. Wal-Mart’s parking lot is big enough to build an entire neighborhood on and the sky over it is as big as Montana. As soon as I step out of the store the beauty and breadth of the sky takes my breath away and I am reminded that life is not shopping and buying and attaining things, but rather it is glorifying the Creator of so awesome a sight. I can feel the glory of God as His artwork hangs over the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Since I recognize the many temptations that face me at Wal-Mart, I try to pray each time that I prepare to go to that store. One evening, as I was walking from my van to the store I was praying when I felt a sudden jolt in my spirit. I felt like my eyes were opened and as I looked at the other people about to enter the store with me, I realized that I was different from them. I realized that I am not just another shopper at Wal-Mart. I am a child of Yahweh. I felt like I should be glowing for all the glory that lives inside me. I looked at the other shoppers and I wanted them to have this glory, too.
Now, maybe these stories seem a little odd to you. Maybe you think I’m seeing too much into things and making a big deal out of nothing. I suppose that’s possible except for this- I know my God the way I do because of what He shows me when I shop at Wal-Mart. Of course, He speaks more fully in the preaching of the Word and in Bible reading. If this was the only place I ever listened to God then I’d have some serious problems, indeed! But for some reason God chose Wal-Mart, of all places, to show me how real He is and to impress certain truths on my heart. Now when I’m having a frustrating time trying to get dinner on the table or some such thing I remember that God helped me pick out some breakfast cereal so surely He cares about each and every detail and He can even help me get dinner on the table.
How does all this work? Is it Jesus who walks with me as I push my cart? Or does He send an angel or two with me every time I go to Wal-Mart? I don’t know how this works, but I don’t need to know. All I need is to know and understand that the God I serve is so big that He can reveal Himself to His people using the most unlikely tools. He can even use Wal-Mart.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Good Blog Post from Fritz
Once again, Fritz has written something profound that I felt I should share with you all (though I realize that most of you who read this blog also reads his.)
When it Doesn't Feel Like We are Winning
"A thing of great comfort to me is that we do not serve a lofty God who commands from the rear and is distant. Our God isn't the king who has become great on the backs of his slaves, rather He became lowly to make us great. There is not a tragedy or pain that He has not already felt for us. There is not a sorrow or test that He has not overcome. But even our great Savior understands the feeling of sorrow and loss."
These are truths that we've all heard before, but sometimes it's so good to be reminded of them. Thanks, Jonathan.
When it Doesn't Feel Like We are Winning
"A thing of great comfort to me is that we do not serve a lofty God who commands from the rear and is distant. Our God isn't the king who has become great on the backs of his slaves, rather He became lowly to make us great. There is not a tragedy or pain that He has not already felt for us. There is not a sorrow or test that He has not overcome. But even our great Savior understands the feeling of sorrow and loss."
These are truths that we've all heard before, but sometimes it's so good to be reminded of them. Thanks, Jonathan.
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