Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My Oasis

I’ve been going through one of those “dry spells” lately. You know what I mean- everything feels disorganized and I haven’t been reading my Bible daily and my prayer life is erratic at best. It’s during times like these that I get almost afraid to pray and ask God for help because I’m positive that He’s mad at me. Why should He listen to me today since I’ve been neglecting to spend time with Him? Well, maybe He’s not “fire and brimstone” mad, but surely He’s a little ticked off at me, right? I mean, who wouldn’t be?

This is how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. But then suddenly, for the first time in my life, I realized that God still loves me the same even when I’m acting foolishly. Even though I’m sinning like crazy, my Father still adores me. It seems too good to be true. And then it hit me. Have I really been sinning more lately or have I just noticed it more lately? Can it be true that I’m always a selfish, conceited, lazy woman? Yep. That’s exactly what I am. And yet, that’s who Jesus died for.

Yahweh looked down from heaven and saw a filthy mess called Adiel. He loved this mess and traded His own Son just so He could have this mess to call His own. I don’t know if I will ever understand why He chose to love me, but I do know that I will spend an eternity thanking Him, praising Him and loving Him for all that He has done to me.

So, you see, this started out as a dry spell, but as God has been using this time to bring me closer to Him it’s been feeling more like an oasis.
Don’t we have an amazing God?

1 comment:

Raquel said...

That sounds like something I might have wanted to write, but I would have chickened out. After all, 'no one else feels like this', right?

Thanks for writing this and then actually posting it. I think I needed that.