Countdown to Chaos

Tomorrow the semi-quiet that I am enjoying now will be temporarily lost as our household will expand from four people to an even dozen. It’s not so much the number of people that’s freaking me out, but it’s the fact that we’ll have twelve people here, several of whom are curious toddlers/ babies, while trying to pull together a family reunion (did I mention that will be held at my house, too?) and during the whole of this I will be valiantly trying to not vomit on anyone as my morning sickness continues. Oh , and did I mention that Joshua is in the middle of a big, stress-inducing project at work?
I’m thinking it’s going to work out well, though. Half my houseguests will be pretty useful setting things up for the reunion and the other half is really cute so I really can’t complain.
Maybe I should be exploring my options here. Let’s see, I’ll have several live-in babysitters for a week! Hmm... maybe I could get used to this.

Good News

This last Thursday Joshua and I got to hear the sound that we had most wanted to hear- our baby's heartbeat. This little child right now looks pretty much like a blob, but it is a beautiful blob.
So far things are looking pretty good, but the doctor did notice a small blood clot or bruise thingy so we’ll need to get a follow up sonogram in a few weeks. The nurse I talked to didn’t seem worried about it at all and rather sounded like she thought I was being paranoid for wanting more information about it. I’m trying not to worry about it, but we would still appreciate prayer for this little one’s safety.
I’ve been learning a whole lot about my God during this time of uncertainty about this baby. There are a lot of times when He says no to our requests, but I think that just maybe this is one of those times that He is Saying Yes. I hope it is.

Color Me

Despite the fact that this blog is full of the stuff of pinkness, pink is not my favorite color. Brown is. Now, some may say that brown is a dull, boring color and some shades of brown are. But the color I’m talking about is the rich, deep chocolate brown that makes you think of fall and sitting by a fire with a hot mug of cocoa. I’m sure my favorite color says something profound about me (besides the fact that I like chocolate), but I’m not willing to analyze myself. So instead I’m going to pick on a bunch of you by stating what color I think best describes your personality. Ready? Here goes.

Joshua: You, my dear, are a dark blue. Dark blue has a deep, amazing beauty to it that is not obvious at first, but rather takes a second look to decipher. It also has a comforting and enriching aspect.

Gaby: Even though you are the “Orange Queen,” I have to say purple for you. Purple is a tricky color to define because there are so many different shades and interpretations of it. Some see it as a dainty color while others see it as bold. It’s the combination of these two traits that makes it so beautiful.

Raquel: I think you’re brown. Brown has gotten a bad rap for being boring and predictable, but sometimes some people see it in its true form: a rich beauty that is deep, yet simple and comforting.

Jeremy: You’re yellow. (No, I’m not calling you chicken.) Yellow can be rather alarming at first, but then once my eyes adjust to its brightness it becomes to me a cheering, uplifting color.

Seth: Black. I mean really, did you expect anything else? Black can be mournful, but also peaceful and soothing in it’s simplicity.

Crystal: You also are blue, but not too dark. Blue is safe, but in certain shades it can be very daring and shocking.

Jonathan: Green. Green surprises me a lot. It tries to sound like a boring color, but it really has a vibrancy that is unexpected and very welcome.

Carrie: Light brown. It’s not as deep as dark brown, but is rather more gentle and soft. It blends well with many colors to give them a greater richness and warmth.

James: Red and I’m talking fire engine. Red is pretty much in your face and blunt. That’s not a bad thing. And it also brings energy to whatever it touches.

Theresa: Pink- I don’t mean pastel! Pink is vibrant, bold and extremely fun. Some shades can be a little bizarre, but it mostly brings the sense of femininity with it.

Dad: You’re a tricky one. I think you’re a blue. Somewhere darker than light blue, but not as deep as dark blue. Your blue has a neat quality in that it is somewhat predictable, but with a depth that is unexpected.

Barb: Orange. Orange can be everything from soft and cozy to bright and exuberant. And whatever shade it is it always has a crazy, but lovable edge.

So there you have it. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I’d love some feedback to see if you all think I got even close with all my artsy psycho babble. If nothing else, maybe you’ll look at colors now in a whole new way.

Cutie Pie and Rice Crispies

Weird and Freaky

Kids Say the Cutest Things... Sometimes

So there we were, sitting in our living room under the ceiling fan on a miserably hot day and I was not handling the heat well. My dear husband tries to cheer me up by saying to Lily, " Go tell Mommy she's pretty."
Lily looked at me and then looked back at Joshua and said with a slightly puzzled look on her face, " Mommy's not pretty- she's cranky."
Ah, the honesty of children.

The Last Tear

This picture is a project that I have wanted to do for some time now. Andrew Peterson’s song, “After the Last Tear Falls” is one of those songs that clings to your heart and refuses to let go. The line in the chorus: "...and we’ll look back on these tears as old tales" is what inspired this photograph. I have this picture, framed and matted, hanging in my living room with that line written on the white matting beneath the photo.

I was thinking about this picture less than a week ago while I was sitting on my couch next to my dad crying because I thought that I was going to lose another baby. Can it really be possible that I will look back on these tears- the tears of a mother mourning for her baby- as old tales? Yes. Even these tears.

“You number my wanderings;
Put my tears in Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?”
Psalm 56:8

Well, It’s Official

I guess I must be officially pregnant now. Just a couple of nights ago I was feeling queasy so I ate a pickle with a bowl of raisin bran. At least it’s better than pickles and ice cream. And it did make me feel better.

Good News!

I’m sure most of you know this by now through various means, but I thought I should post it anyway: There is another Gardner baby on the way! God has answered our prayers. He is so good!
This pregnancy is not going as smoothly as I would have liked, though. My progesterone levels are too low and that can be a sign that a miscarriage is likely. I’ve started taking progesterone supplements to try to help my body along, but there are no guarantees. ( But what pregnancy ever has the guarantee of a healthy baby?) So even though it is entirely possible that God may take this child away from us before he is born, I am still rejoicing in this little one. And I will still say that God is good!
Thank you to all who prayed that God would give us this baby. Now I ask that you would pray that God would let us keep him.

Grace to be Sane

Yesterday was one of those days. The kids and I all had colds so Malachi was snotty and coughing, Lily was cranky, plus Joshua was in Canada for the day on business and wasn’t expected back until late. To top it all off I was trying to pull together dinner for eleven people with a surprise birthday party thrown in for good measure. So there I was, exhausted, sick, and overwhelmed with the crankiness of sick kids. It was when I was trudging upstairs from the basement lugging a basket full of laundry that I desperately prayed, “Lord, please help me. You’ve gotten me through greater trials, now just help me get dinner on the table.”
And you know what? He didn‘t just help me throw some food on the table, He made the whole evening so pleasant. The new recipe I tried for dinner turned out well, the dining room was decorated nicely, and even the margarita glasses looked festive all rimmed with sugar and topped with an orange slice. Everyone enjoyed dinner and we all had a good time with each other.

All this made me realize once again that our God not only cares about the big, high holy things we do, but also the small, seemingly unimportant things of these earthly lives. I also realized that there isn’t one thing that I do that doesn’t totally depend on God’s grace. Whether it be raising children, being a good wife, having a dinner party or simply trying to get the laundry done- all these things are done only because God wills that they are done.

I suppose the next time I’m tempted to take pride in my clean house or a successful social gathering I should remember that if God had left it totally up to me I would have flopped big time. If I believe that my God is really as sovereign as He says He is, well then I guess there’s just no room for my pride.

“A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9

DQ and My Little Dog

This evening we went to the local Dairy Queen. The kids enjoyed their sundaes and I enjoyed the fact that they didn’t spill or drop them. On our walk back home we stopped to splash in a puddle which was fun until Malachi decided he was thirsty and that dirty puddle water was just the thing to quench his thirst. So there he was belly down in the parking lot behind our house, lapping up water like it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, I suppose it would be the most natural thing in the world- for a dog.
So this latest incident has further heightened my suspicions that my son is part dog. He likes to chew on shoes and play in the toilet and once when we tickled his belly, he shook his leg like crazy. Weird, huh?
That’s my boy.