Just Because It's Spiffy

Pretty neat, eh? The blur in the background is Malachi.

More Slugs & Bugs

As promised, more songs from Andrew Peterson and Randall Goodgame's children's CD, Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies:

God Made Me

God made slugs and bugs and rats and bats
And nasty bees that don't say please
They'll sting your elbows and your knees if you chase them

God made snakes and snails and killer whales
And if you were a baby seal
Then you would make a tasty meal for orcas.

But God made me like He made the sea
He filed it up with green and blue
He sent His Son, his only One
To fill me up and make me new.

God made everything that was or is
Or will be (what a crazy biz)
I can't believe that I am His forever

Now I listen very carefully
Because He lives inside of me
That could be gross, but it's not 'cause it's
Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior!

God made me like He made the sea
He filed it up with green and blue
He sent His Son, his only One
To fill me up and make me new.


Now on a more serious note (this is my favorite song on the album):

You Can Always Come Home

I love you today and I love you tomorrow
I love you as deep as the sea
I love you in joy, and I love you in sorrow
You can always come home to me

There once was a man who found him a treasure
Buried out under a tree
He sold all he had just to own it forever
The treasure is you, you see

I love you today and I love you tomorrow
I love you as deep as the sea
I love you in joy, and I love you in sorrow
You can always come home to me

There once were some sheep safe on the farm
And one little lamb got loose
The shepherd went out and carried it home
That little lamb is you

I love you today and I love you tomorrow
I love you as deep as the sea
I love you in joy, and I love you in sorrow
You can always come home to me

Pretty Much the Cutest Smile Ever

And I'm talking about Evangeline's smile, though Joshua's is pretty cute, too.

My Cute Little Man

This is Malachi wearing his "Dapper Dude Jacket" as he calls it.

Sabbath Quote

The Means by Which We Know God

• We know him by two means:

  First, by the creation, preservation, and government of the universe, since that universe is before our eyes like a beautiful book in which all creatures, great and small, are as letters to make us ponder the invisible things of God: his eternal power and his divinity, as the apostle Paul says in Romans 1:20.

  All these things are enough to convict men and to leave them without excuse.

  Second, he makes himself known to us more openly by his holy and divine Word, as much as we need in this life, for his glory and for the salvation of his own.

---From the Belgic Confession

A New Blog!

My niece Arianna and her friend Elsie have started a blog entitled "The Land of Fairytales." Arianna and I share a love of Fairies and we both seem to have excellent taste in blog templates.
Go check it out!

Four Cousins

Malachi, Alyssa, Lily & Evangeline

A Poem

Please take a moment to read this poem by John Piper. It is beautiful.

Happy Mother's Day

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining with all its brilliance, the sky was that shade of blue that makes you want to dance and the clouds were like puffs of pure white cotton hanging in the never ending blueness. I could feel the warm breeze on my face as I sped along on my trusty rollerblades.

I lifted my face to bask in the ethereal warmth when suddenly, from out of nowhere, a brick wall loomed up in front of me. I didn’t even have time to react. I couldn’t stop. I crashed into that solid wall going full speed, totally unprepared. The pain was blinding. I felt something shatter in my chest. It felt like shards of glass were exploding inside me, tearing holes in my veins and shredding my lungs to pieces. Breathing was impossible. Blackness. I had never known such pain.

That’s how I felt when my mom died.


Why do I write this?, you ask. First, believe it or not, it’s actually helpful for me. If I were to try to deny the existence of that pain then I would be a liar. If I forgot that pain then I would forget what I was rescued from.
Secondly, I hope to show you folks out there who still have your mom living on this earth what it was like to lose my mom so you can more fully appreciate your own mom.

When I change a yucky diaper I think about all my diapers that my mom changed. When I wake up in the middle of the night to care for a fussy baby I think about all the sleep my mom went without to care for me. When I’m exasperated at my children I think about what I must have put my mom through. And when I’m lonely during the day and ache for someone to talk to I remember how I could call my mom anytime to talk to her about anything and she would listen and understand.
Sure, my mom drove me crazy at times. It’s in the mother-daughter contract to get on each others nerves now and then. But she was my best friend and I loved her. And she loved me.

Imagine if your mom died today. Imagine never hearing her voice on the other end of the phone again. Imagine never again feeling her love for you. Is there something you would wish you had told her? Did you give her a hug the last time you saw her? Does she know that you truly appreciate everything she sacrificed for you? Does she know you love her?

Tell her. You never know if that brick wall will appear suddenly in front of you.

Bright Eyes

Kids Say the Cutest, (Darndest, Wisest, Adorable,) Things

I thought I had Lily trained pretty well: I’d ask her where she got her cuteness from and she’d smile and say: “From you!”
Smart kid, right? Well, it turns out that Malachi is trained even better. When asked where he got his cuteness from, without hesitating, he said, “God!”
Sigh. I guess I can’t argue with that one.
--------------------------

One Sunday afternoon I was doing some Catechism questions with Lily and Malachi.
“Who made you?” I asked.
“God!” they replied.
So far so good.
“What else did God make?”
“God made all things.”
I’m so proud of them.
“Where is God?”
“In Heaven,” Lily answers.
Close. Not too bad.
“Well, yes, but He’s also everywhere.”
Malachi didn’t seem to be paying attention to that one so I ask him again: “Where is God?”
“In there,” he says matter-of-factly, pointing to the Catechism. And to make sure I understand him fully, he clarifies: “In the book.”
Okay we’ll work on it.
----------------------

Yesterday at breakfast I was telling the kids how I had had a dream with snakes in it and that I was scared of the snakes. Lily said, “You don’t have to be scared.”
When I asked her why she replied, “Because Jesus will take care of you!”
How true. It’s good to be reminded of the great truths by a four-year-old.

Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies

Lily received from some some of her Illinois relatives (Thanks ya'll!) a CD of children's music by Andrew Peterson and Randall Goodgame entitled "Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies." It seems that these men have slightly Ben-Ezra-like senses of humor. Here's one of my favorite songs:

"Burp, burp, Chicken Wiggle, don't spit up. Don't spit up.
Come on, burp, burp, Chicken Wiggle don't spit up.

You've got bubbles down in your tummy,
And they'll be trouble if they don't rise
Well I know that milk is yummy,
But the doctor says no matter how that baby cries you've got to...

Burp, burp, Chicken Wiggle, don't spit up. Don't spit up...

You've got your bed, you've got your jammies,
You've been fed and pacified.
Got new Huggies down on your fanny
But there's only one more reason that a baby cries...

You've got to burp, burp, Chicken Wiggle, don't spit up. Don't spit up..."


More from this CD later! ;o)

Lily's Princess Party

We had Lily's birthday party on Saturday. It was a Princess party (of course) and we all had lots of fun. All the girls were princesses and got pretty wands and Malachi was a warrior prince so he got a sword.
Lily's princess cake.

Lily modeling some of her gifts from us- a new apron and a cute hat.

She got pretty Princess shoes from Gramma and Grampa Gardner (with lights!) and also a princess blanket and bed sheets.

And Grandpa B. gave her this spiffy bike.

A Sabbath Quote

"When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake."

Excerpt from "How Firm a Foundation"

Daddy and Evangeline

Our Trip to the Zoo

Yesterday was Lily's birthday so Joshua took the day off work and we went to the zoo. We had a great time and I got some spiffy pictures. Here's just a sample:


This is a particularly cute species of Four-Year-Old. Females of this species are often attracted to the color pink.




Poor guy, he's stuck with two tired and cranky women.

Yes, there is glass separating Malachi from that Cheetah. He wasn't scared a bit. Malachi was pretty brave, too.

A Sabbath Quote

"O quickly come, great King of all;
Reign all around us, and within;
Let sin no more our souls enthrall,
let pain and sorrow die with sin.
O quickly come, for Thou alone
Canst make Thy scattered people one.

O quickly come, true Life of all;
For death is mighty all around;
On every home his shadows fall,
On every heart his mark is found.
O quickly come, for grief and pain
Can never cloud Thy glorious reign."


----Hymn by Lawrence Tuttiett

An Important Discovery

I have discovered an important truth: There is a limited amount of Cleanness in the world and each household is allotted a certain amount (some are given more than others.) I’ve found that I have just enough Cleanness for one room in my house to be Clean at a time- two if I spread it out pretty thinly. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to get my entire house clean, I will never succeed because I simply haven’t been allotted enough Cleanness.

Discovering this truth has made my life a lot easier. I now know that I’m not a failure at housekeeping- I’m just a victim of poor Cleanness distribution. I can relax now because really, who am I to try to defy the laws of Clean?

Someday It Will All Be Over

After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard

There is love
Love, love, love

And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We'll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

Excerpt from "After the Last Tear Falls" by Andrew Peterson


Someday there really will be a final gunshot and then only peace will reign. When Jesus comes back.

Snapshots

Some cute moments in our family:

Lily showing her daddy the proper way to set the table.

Walking into Wal-Mart behind a balding man Lily comments loudly, "He doesn't have hair on top of his head!"

Evangeline smiling her toothless smile at her brother and him smiling back.

Eating something spicy, Lily opens her eyes as wide as she can, opens her mouth and sticks her tongue waaay out. "Aaaahhh!"

Lily and Malachi dubbing their picture books "Psalters" and singing Psalm 100 while their daddy plays guitar.

Lily nursing her baby doll and burping it. Malachi burping Chewy. ( He didn't even try to nurse him.)

Happy Birthday, Crystal!

Due to a recurring case of RLS (Real Life Syndrome) this birthday post is a few days late. My apologies to the birthday girl.

Saturday was my sister-in-law Crystal's birthday. I'd really like to write something to let her know how much I appreciate her, but my brain is a little muddled (as usual) so bear with me.

I think one of the main things I appreciate about Crystal is the work she does in her family. My brother is a happy man being married to her and he is flourishing because of her being a good helper to him. I love seeing my niece and nephews growing into beautiful (albeit slightly strange) little disciples of Christ. The S. Ben-Ezra family is creative and loving and a big reason for that is Crystal.

You're doing a good job, Crystal. I pray that you would see the fruit of your labors more and more with each passing year.

Happy Birthday!

Rules For Housekeeping with Little Kids

Here are just a few ways that having little kids can actually help give you that sparkling clean home you've always dreamed of. Just follow these simple steps and get ready to enjoy your clean home!

For a spotless dining room floor:

Step 1- Serve lunch to Toddler complete with cup of milk
Step 2- Watch as Toddler spills entire contents of cup on floor
Step 3- Wipe up milk that has somehow covered three quarters of the floor
Repeat daily.


For a delightfully fresh scented carpet:

Step 1- Leave Toddler unsupervised long enough for him to get into your tea supplies and scatter dried spearmint leaves all over living room carpet.
Step 2- Vacuum up spearmint leaves.
Now every time you vacuum the room will be filled with the scent of spearmint!
Repeat process after changing vacuum bag.

The Many Faces of Evangeline

A Dream Come True

This may come as a shock to some of you, but a little-known dream of ours has finally come true. We have long desired to quit suburbia and start a farm and now that dream has become a reality. We had heard of some land just outside of Corry for sale from a friend of a friend. The owner of this land is a Christian trying to raise some money to enable him and his family to become a missionaries and is therefore selling much of the land surrounding their current home (which is also for sale.) Since he heard we are Christians, too, he’s selling us this land for a very reasonable price and giving us plenty of time to sell our house.

Even though this is something we’ve been wanting for a while there is still some uncertainty ahead. Joshua will be quitting his job and will work making deliveries for a rental store in Warren while we’re setting up our farm. Money will be tight at first I’m sure, but I feel that it will be worth a little struggle to have our dream farm. As strange as it may sound, I’m actually looking forward to learning how to milk a cow and gather eggs from our own chickens.

Rejoice with us as we start this new adventure!

Fun Learning

This was part of school time today. Can anyone guess what animal we were learning about?

You Say It's Your Birthday- Well It's My Birthday, Too, Yeah

Well, here we are, less than an hour away from March 22, 2007- my 23rd birthday. It's strange to look over my life at the juncture. I am (almost) 23 years old, I'm married (to a wonderful man, by the way) I have three kids, a mortgage and a minivan. Sometimes I feel old beyond my years and sometimes I feel like I'm far too young to be a wife and mommy. It's amazing that the life I lead is exactly the life I wanted. That just goes to show that we don't always know what we're really asking for!

So, Happy Birthday to me! May my life be full of everyday adventures and may I never grow to old to enjoy them.

A Good Music Video- Really!

I've found that most music videos made today are pointless and devoid of any art, but I actually like this music video by Casting Crowns. I've been really impressed with their music since they seem to be writing their lyrics honestly and without the fear of offending a few church folks. Plus, I like that they look like normal people and not flashy super models.

A Story for Malachi

I told this story to Malachi before his nap today. It's been altered only slightly.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there lived a prince named Malachi. Prince Malachi was a handsome prince who tried to obey his daddy and mommy, the King and Queen, and do what they told him to do.

One day Prince Malachi was walking in the woods when he looked up and saw the most beautiful bird he had ever seen flying high in the sky. The bird was redder than the reddest apple and so shiny that when the sunlight hit it, it looked like its wings were made of thousands of sparkling rubies.

Prince Malachi thought the red bird was so lovely that he wanted to be friends with it. So he watched to see which tree the bird landed in, walked to that tree and looked up into the branches. He couldn’t see the red bird so he called up and asked the bird if they could be friends.

“Yes,” said the bird, “but you must climb up here to my home if you want to be my friend.”

Prince Malachi really wanted to be the red bird’s friend so he got ready to climb the tree. But the tree was too tall! He couldn’t even reach the bottom branch. Prince Malachi jumped and jumped as high as he could, but the branch was still too high. Prince Malachi grabbed hold of the trunk of the tree and hoisted himself up and managed to get his fingers around the branch, but then he slipped and fell down to the ground.

As Prince Malachi lay on the ground he knew that he could never be the red bird’s friend because he couldn’t climb the tree to get to the bird’s home. And he was sad because he so wanted the bird to be his friend. But then he heard a sound like fluttering wings. He looked up and saw the big, shining, red bird sitting on the forest floor next to him.

“I want to be your friend, too, Malachi,” the bird said. And then the red bird gently lifted Prince Malachi in his beak and flew up, up to the top branch of the tree which was his home.

Prince Malachi was so happy! Now he and the bird could be friends! And Prince Malachi knew that if it had been up to him and his own strength then he could never have been friends with the beautiful, red bird. Prince Malachi loved the red bird and the red bird loved Prince Malachi. And they were friends for ever and ever.

The End

A Sabbath Quote

"I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! All pow’r to Him is given,
To guard me on my onward course, and bring me safe to heaven.
The eternal glories gleam afar, to nerve my faint endeavor;
So now to watch, to work, to war, and then to rest forever."

----Hymn by James G. Small

Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

Have I told you lately how glad I am that you’re my brother? (I haven’t? Well, there’s a good reason for that.)

Seriously, I’m very grateful that you are my big brother. My only problem with you is that you live so far away. I wish we lived closer so I could give you a big hug, sing “Happy Birthday” to you and make little party hats for all your cats (wouldn’t that be so cute?)

Jonathan, even though sometimes it feels funny to say it, I love you very much. I pray that God would bless you greatly in this new year of your life and shower you with His Love and Glory as you live for Him.

Happy Birthday!

My Thoughtful Son

Today Malachi was kind enough to offer to give me a shave. I guess he thought I was getting a little scruffy around the chin area. He used a plastic toy which gave a surprisingly close shave. That was really thoughtful of him because what with having a new baby in the house and all of my other responsibilities piling up sometimes I do forget to shave the ol’ whiskers. I don’t know if any of you other young moms have the same problem, but if you do sometimes forget to shave I certainly hope you have a thoughtful child to offer to do it for you.

A Great Quote

“I will help you, says the Lord.” Isaiah 41:14

“This morning listen to the voice of the Lord Jesus speak, ‘I will help you. It is a small thing for me, your God, to help you. Consider what I have already done. What! Not help you! I bought you with My blood. What! Not help you! I died for you. Since I have done the greater, will I not do less? Your requests are nothing compared with what I am willing to give. You need much, but it is nothing for me to grant your needs. Help you? Fear not! I will help you.'"
---Charles Spurgeon

Glorious Music

You must listen to this. It's one of my all-time favorite pieces of music and I get shivers whenever I hear it. I have no idea what he's singing about, but it's beautiful. Make sure you listen to it all the way through. The ending is breathtaking.
I wonder if this is how angels sound when they sing.

My Beautiful Kids

A Sabbath Quote

"This is my Father’s world, and to my listening ears
All nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres.
This is my Father’s world: I rest me in the thought
Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
His hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done:
Jesus Who died shall be satisfied,
And earth and Heav’n be one.

This is my Father’s world. I walk a desert lone.
In a bush ablaze to my wondering gaze God makes His glory known.
This is my Father’s world, a wanderer I may roam
Whate’er my lot, it matters not,
My heart is still at home."

Hymn byMalt­bie D. Bab­cock. While a pastor in Lock­port, New York, Bab­cock liked to hike in an ar­ea called “the es­carp­ment,” an an­cient up­thrust ledge near Lock­port. It has a mar­vel­ous view of farms, or­chards, and Lake On­tar­io, about 15 miles dis­tant. It is said those walks in the woods in­spired these lyr­ics. The ti­tle re­calls an ex­press­ion Bab­cock used when start­ing a walk: “I’m go­ing out to see my Fa­ther’s world."

Bio found on cyberhymnal.org

Happy Birthday, Mom!

On March 9, 1952 (I think that's the right year) my mother was born. And even though she's not alive on this earth anymore I will still celebrate this day as the day that a beautiful life was begun and the day that one of my best friends ever was born. Today I celebrate the life Mom lived. She didn't live it perfectly since she was a sinner just like I am, but she lived her life for God and it showed in everything she did.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I'm so glad you are my mom.

Sweet Evangeline

Some Cute Pictures of Cute People

Zoom, Zoom!

Well, we’re finally catching up with the rest of the world- we now have DSL! I can’t believe how fast everything is! How did we survive with dial-up for so long? Of course, this has opened up a whole new world to us: YouTube. Wahaha!

Check out this spiffyness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59ZX5qdIEB0

Psychic Powers?

"Christen said...
February 14th (Valentines day) girl, 7lbs, 10 oz."
---comment from January 5th "Let the Guessing Begin!"


Congratulations to Christen who accurately guessed that I would have a girl, born on the 14th and weighing 7 lbs. 10 oz. In fact, it’s a little freaky that she guessed it so exactly. Okay, it’s really freaky. Is my sister-in-law psychic? (Cue spooky music.)

A Birth Story

As I am making use of Gaby’s helpful presence here, I have a quiet moment now so I thought I’d write out a bit of Evangeline’s birth story.

I had been having contractions on and off all Tuesday afternoon. By dinnertime they were uncomfortable enough to be a hindrance to my singing during family worship, but I still wasn’t convinced that we’d be seeing any serious action that night. Well, the contractions kept getting worse and I tried to go to bed to rest, but by then I knew something big was happening. Every medical-type person that I’d recently seen had always repeated the mantra: “When your contractions are consistently five minutes apart then it’s time to go to the hospital.” Joshua started timing my contractions and we settled in for the long haul. There was just one problem- they never got consistent. I’d have a space of six minutes between contractions and then one of eleven minutes. I called the midwife to let her know what was happening and she didn’t seem too concerned and thought that I was still in pretty early labor. That was okay because we had wanted to stay home as long as possible before we subjected ourselves to the mercy of the hospital. But shortly after that phone call we knew that it was time to go.

Now comes the interesting part. We had just gotten hit with a good amount of snow and seeing as it was about one o’clock in the morning the snowplows had not yet been out and about. So there we were driving through several inches of snow with only a few tire tracks to guide us, I was in pretty serious labor and Joshua was trying to stay calm and keep the van from getting stuck.

When we finally got to hospital Joshua parked out front where the guard told him the van could stay for about fifteen minutes. I got wheeled up to my room where I asked the nurse (as politely as possible for someone in my state of extreme discomfort) for a basin into which I promptly puked. That convinced the midwife and nurse that I was in transition. Joshua left to park our car, but was chased down by a nurse telling him that if he left now he might miss the birth. One mere hour (and lots of pain and pushing) later, Evangeline was born.

As I look back over the experience I find that I am very grateful for many things. I really appreciated Bonnie, the midwife. Despite her being wrong about the timing of contractions, I was really very pleased with how she walked me through labor (at least the hour of it that she was there for.) I had some very pleasant nurses which made such a huge difference from the other times when I had terrible nurses. Most of all, I’m so grateful that Joshua was with me through it all. He is the greatest labor partner I could wish for. He kept me focused and encouraged me and was always ready with a glass of ice water after each contraction. Even Bonnie commented on how we made a great team.

So, yeah, there were some parts of that labor that weren’t so great. For example, I wouldn’t want take a car ride like that ever again. But through it all my God was faithful. Many times during a painful contraction I would cry out to Him to give me strength to endure and He always did. It’s because of Him that little Evangeline is here safe and sound. And it’s to Him that we give all the glory.

Evangeline

She's Here!

Evangeline Felicity was born February 14th at 2:32 am. She is healthy and beautiful. Thank you all for your prayers. Details and pictures to follow soon.

Can't Get Any Cuter Than This

Almost There

As you can see from my baby countdown, my due date is here and I’ve still not been delivered from my kangaroo state. Any mother who has even come anywhere close to her due date will understand how I’m feeling about now. I’m very, very weary. I’m pretty much used to feeling like an overweight beached whale and the crazy, unpredictable emotions are fairly routine by now, too. It’s the pain that I just can’t seem to adjust to. It’s when I can’t roll over in bed without gasping in pain, when doing the dishes is unbearable and when simply walking to the bathroom feels like an overwhelming task that I just want it all to be over. I’m afraid that when the time finally comes for labor to start that I just won’t have enough energy and stamina to go through it.

So please pray for me. Pray that I would have the strength and endurance I need to face every day. Pray for the safety of this precious little child that I am carrying. Pray that I would be patient and trust my good God’s timing in this. And pray that I wouldn’t worry about labor and delivery.

For some reason, God had decided that I shouldn’t have an easy pregnancy and if that’s what He wants then there must be a good reason for it. So I will say “Your will be done.” But in order to do that I need you all to be praying for me.

I’m asking this in full confidence that you, my friends, will respond to my request and approach our loving Father on my behalf. Thank you. I’m very grateful for you all.

A Special Quote

I'm usually not a fan of those schmaltzy email forwards, but I liked this one. Maybe this is something we need to do, too.


"[There] was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry' "

A Good Labor Quote

"Our Lamaze instructor… assured our class…that our cervix muscles would become 'naturally numb' as they swelled and stretched, and deep breathing would turn the final explosions of pain into 'manageable discomfort.' This description turned out to be as accurate as, say, a steward advising passengers aboard the Titanic to prepare for a brisk but bracing swim.

—Mary Kay Blakely in American Mom "

A Sabbath Prayer

Love Lustres at Calvary

My Father,
Enlarge my heart, warm my affections, open my lips,
supply words that proclaim ‘Love lustres at Calvary.’
There grace removes my burdens and heaps them on thy Son,
made a transgressor , a curse, and sin for me;
There the sword of thy justice smote the man, thy fellow;
There thy infinite attributes were magnified,
and infinite atonement was made;
There infinite punishment was due,
and infinite punishment was endured.
Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,
cast off that I might be brought in,
trodden down as an enemy that I might be welcomed as a friend,
surrendered to hell's worst that I might attain heaven's best,
stripped that I might be clothed,
wounded that I might be healed,
athirst that I might drink,
tormented that I might be comforted,
made a shame that I might inherit glory,
entered darkness that I might have eternal light.

My Saviour wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes,
groaned that I might have endless song,
endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
bore a thorned crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness,
expired that I might for ever live.

O Father, who spared not thine only Son that thou mightest spare me,
All this transfer thy love designed and accomplished;
Help me to adore thee by lips and life.
O that my every breath might be ecstatic praise,
my every step buoyant with delight, as I see
my enemies crushed,
Satan baffled, defeated, destroyed,
sin buried in the ocean of reconciling blood,
hell's gates closed, heaven's portal open.

Go forth, O conquering God, and show me the cross,
mighty to subdue, comfort and save.

---from The Valley of Vision

Happy Birthday to My Pastor

My dad’s birthday is on the 28th. I’ll be doing this birthday post a little differently by writing about my pastor instead of my dad (of course, it’s impossible for me to completely separate the two.) I’m also doing this a few days in advance, partly so it actually gets done and also to give you folks a chance to leave any comments for him since many of you have had him as pastor at some point. I know he checks this blog regularly, though you could never tell it by the number of comments he leaves :o).

So, where shall I begin? My dad has been my pastor and shepherd of my soul since before I even knew I had a soul that needed shepherding. As far back as I can remember it’s been my dad that I’ve heard preaching as I've sat in my pew. In all that time, as should be expected, he has changed as a pastor. He’s gone from preaching slightly stoic, but theologically correct sermons to being able to preach passionately from a heart that deeply loves his Lord and the people that he has been ordained to lead. And that love is so obvious. There is an intensity in his sermons as if he is pleading with our very souls, urging and exhorting his flock to abandon our sinful desires and serve more fully our true Master.

My pastor doesn’t just preach from a pulpit once a week and leave it at that, but he regularly meets with various members of the church to disciple them on a one-on-one basis. I like watching him talk with people after worship on Sundays. My dad is not a naturally social person, but there he is talking to this person about a job interview, inquiring after that person’s health, setting up a time to visit this other person. Our pastor loves us and it shows in how he cares for us.

More times than I can recall, I’ve thanked God for giving me such a pastor. I thank Him once again, knowing that in providing for me a godly man to guide and instruct me my God has shown how much He loves me.

I pray that God would bless my dad and pastor in this new year of his life.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

No Surrender

Sometimes some random memories of my mom will pop up in my mind. I remember one thing she used to do if she was working on a project and it wasn’t going right or if she was fiddling with something and having trouble with it she would say, “I yield!” in an exasperated tone of voice. It would drive me crazy when she did that and I would just chalk it up as another one of my crazy mother’s annoying habits. But I understand now why my mom would say it.

This past while has been really difficult for me and whether it’s a project I’m working on that’s not going right or my body is aching and cramping or one of the kids just spilled a whole bowl full of cereal and milk on my freshly mopped floor, I find myself often saying those same words, “I yield! That’s it. I give up. I tried my hardest and failed. I’m done.” But I then I try to think back to those times when my mom would say it and I can’t remember her just throwing the project down, giving up and storming away in a huff. Instead, she would try again. She didn’t really surrender even though she was saying she was. She kept at it until she got it right- even when it seemed a hopeless situation.

So maybe that’s what I need to do, too. Maybe it’s really okay if I feel overwhelmed by my life right now. Maybe it’s to be expected that I feel like laying down arms and surrendering to inevitable failure. Maybe it’s okay if I feel hopeless- just as long as I don’t give up. I pray daily for the strength to live and serve another day. Even when I don’t see any possible way that the oncoming day could be good, I still pray that it would be. If I trusted in my own feeble strength then I would have to surrender, but my Jesus has strength enough for me. It’s His strength that will get me through the day. If my Savior can fight the powers of death and darkness and not give up then surely He can carry me along to my own victory.

Too Sweet For Words

Just Because He's Cute

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get this little boy to sit still for a picture without making goofy faces? I'm amazed that I got these two pictures. He sure is a handsome little man, isn't he?

Happy Birthday, Dad G!

Yesterday was my father-in-law's birthday. Life was a little crazy yesterday so this is a belated birthday post.

One thing that I really appreciate about my father-in-law (a.k.a Dad#2, daddy G. Grandpa Cracker, etc.) is they way he is with his grandkids. He's so gentle with them whether he's holding little Alyssa or horsing around with Malachi or having pretend tea with Lily. And it's plain to see that he's having just as much fun (maybe even more) as they are. And the kids adore him. They are always wondering when they'll get to see their Grampa Gardner next and if they'll get to sleep over at his house (that's the ultimate treat.)

There is quite a lack of good grandpas in this world and I'm so very grateful that my kids get to have a really special one.

Thanks, Daddy G. for being the big part of our lives that you are and for giving my kids your love. Thanks for being Grampa Gardner. You make our family richer just by being you.

Happy Birthday!

A Mother's Dream

I made a baby sling for myself today and with the leftover fabric I made one for Lily. I can't believe how grown-up she looks. She is so nurturing even at three years of age. She will often pat or rub my belly and talk to her baby brother/sister. She tries to be so gentle with me so she doesn't hurt Baby Buddy. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she cares for Baby Buddy after he's born.

Just Plain Silly

Seen on an ad for a prescription sleep aid:

"Side effects may include drowsiness"

Medium-Well with a Side of Stuffing

Several nights ago my family and I enjoyed the rare treat of eating steaks for dinner. The local supermarket was having a great sale on them so I thought we’d splurge. We cut the kids’ meat up into small pieces and told them to chew their food a lot since steak is very chewy. Malachi only heard that it was “Chewy” (the name of his teddy bear) that we were eating.
“This is Chewy-Bear?” he asked, holding a piece of steak on his fork.
We tried to explain that we weren’t eating Chewy, but that the food was hard to chew.
“It’s Chewy-Bear!” he said happily and eagerly started chomping away at his steak.

Now I ask you, which is worse- the fact that our son was positive that we were eating his teddy bear for dinner or the fact that he seemed to be enjoying it?

A Great Song

This is one of my favorite Keith Green songs. Something I enjoy greatly about Keith Green's music is the raw honesty he showed in his lyrics and in the way he sang them. This is a great song and I cry every time I hear it.

When I Hear the Praises Start

My son, My son, why are you striving,
You can't add one thing to what's been done for you,
I did it all while I was dying,
Rest in your faith, my peace will come to you.

For when I hear the praises start, I want to rain upon you,
Blessings that will fill your heart, I see no stain upon you,
Because you are My child and know me, to Me you're only holy,
Nothing that you've done remains, only what you do for Me.

My child, My child, why are you weeping,
You will not have to wait forever,
That day and that hour is in My keeping,
The day I'll bring you into Heaven.

For when I hear the praises start, my child, I want to rain upon you,
Blessing that will fill your heart, I see no stain upon you,
Because you are My child and you know me, to me you're only holy,
Nothing that you've done remains, only what you do in Me.

My precious bride, the day is nearing,
When I'll take you in My arms and hold you,
I know there are so many things that you've been hearing,
But you just hold on to what I have told you.

For when I hear the praises start, my bride, I want to rain upon you,
Blessings that will fill your heart, I see no stain upon you,
Because you are My child, and you know Me, to me you're only holy,
Nothing that you've done will remain, only what you do for me.

A Sabbath Prayer

The Lord's Day

O Lord my Lord,
this is thy day,
the heavenly ordinance of rest,
the open door of worship,
the record of Jesus' resurrection,
the seal of the sabbath to come,
the day when the saints militant and triumphant unite in endless song.
I bless thee for the throne of grace,
that here free favour reigns;
that open access to it is through the blood of Jesus;
that the veil is torn aside and I can enter the holiest
and find thee ready to hear,
waiting to be gracious,
inviting me to pour out my needs,
encouraging my desires,
promising to give more than I ask or think.
But while I bless thee, shame and confusion are mine:
I remember my past misuse of sacred things,
my irreverent worship,
my base ingratitude,
my cold, dull praise.
Sprinkle all my past sabbaths with the cleansing blood of Jesus,
and may this day witness deep improvement in me.
Give me in rich abundance the blessings the Lord's Day was designed to impart;
May my heart be fast bound against worldly thoughts or cares;
Flood my mind with peace beyond understanding;
may my meditations be sweet,
my acts of worship, life, liberty, joy,
my drink the streams that flow from thy throne,
my food the precious Word,
my defence the shield of faith,
and may my heart be more knit to Jesus.

---From The Valley of Vision

More Beautiful Artwork

Lily wanted to draw a picture of Baby Buddy and I thought I 'd share it with you. She is so excited to meet her newest little sibling. She is convinced that she's getting a little sister where as Malachi is sure Baby Buddy is a boy. Joshua and I keep telling them that God has already decided which gender Baby Buddy is and we’ll just have to wait to find out for ourselves. Lily’s response to that logic: “God decided Baby Buddy is a girl.”

(In case you were wondering about that line coming from Baby Buddy's mouth- I think it was supposed to be his neck, but the artist later declared that it was the umbilical cord. So what if it’s not 100% anatomically correct? He does have an ear in the middle of his forehead, after all.)

Something Like a Haiku

tears mingle with the downpour
does anyone ever know
when you cry in the shower?

Quotables from Today

"My tongue feels soft- I want it to feel sweet."

"Don’t hit it with your banana."

So, You Think You Know What You’re Getting Into?

From time to time I’ll talk to various young couples who are looking forward to the day when they will start a family of their own. They get that dreamy look in their eyes and I can tell they’re imagining how nice it will be when they have a cute, cuddly little baby and then, years later, an adorable well-behaved toddler and so on. I look at these dreamers and laugh to myself, “They have NO IDEA what they’re getting into.

Take this last Saturday evening for example. The kids were in bed and Joshua and I were peacefully doing a few chores downstairs before we were going to settle in to watch a movie. While I was sweeping in the dining room I heard a crash from overhead so I raced up the stairs (as much as a very pregnant woman can race anywhere) to the kids’ room to see what happened. Lily had somehow managed to dive off her bed to tackle the floor lamp, shattering its glass parts to pieces and sending shards of glass flying across the room toward Malachi’s bed (where he was sitting half naked since his favorite pastime is removing his pajamas.) Thankfully, neither child was injured, but we did have to spend the next half hour or so cleaning up glass from all the little nooks and crannies in the kids’ room (and redressing Malachi.)

Now this example of crazy parenthood is from a mother of only TWO kids. What is it going to be like as our home fills up with even more of these little sources of stress and insanity? Do I have any idea what I’m getting into? Of course I don’t and I think that that ignorance is God’s gift to parents. So, I’ll just take what insanity comes my way because I know that even though life here can get crazy our family life is rich and whole because of those little kids. I’m so thankful for my family- broken lamps and all.

A Good Quote for the Sabbath

These are a few lines from one of the hymns we sang during corporate worship today. I was struck by them and wanted to share their beauty and truth with you folks.

"O worship the King, all glorious above,

O gratefully sing His power and His love;

Our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days,

Pavilioned in splendor, and girded with praise.

Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,

In Thee do we trust, nor find Thee to fail;

Thy mercies how tender, how firm to the end,

Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend.

O measureless might! Ineffable love!

While angels delight to hymn Thee above,

The humbler creation, though feeble their lays,

With true adoration shall lisp to Thy praise."

Let the Guessing Begin!

As you can tell from my baby countdown I have a little over a month left until Baby Buddy makes his debut appearance. I’ll now be accepting any guesses you all may have for the date of arrival, gender and any other baby info you can think of.

Here are some facts first:
I’m due to be delivered from my state of largeness on February 7th. I went five days past my due date when I had Lily and ten days with Malachi. Lily weighed 7.4 and Malachi weighed 8.4.

So here’s my guess: February 13th, a girl, 8 lbs. and incredibly cute.

Artwork

You may have noticed that I’ve changed my profile picture once again. This newest picture is a portrait that Lily drew of me on a Magna-Doodle.
Notice how my hair is standing straight up and the slightly frazzled expression on my face. Except for the fact that I have no mid-section to speak of and my arms are growing out of my ears I think she captured my essence rather well.

Happy Birthday, Christen!

Today is my dear sister-in-law’s birthday. We didn’t get to be with Christen to celebrate her birthday today because of distance and my own fatigue, but we are still celebrating her birth even as we’re apart. Today I celebrate the birth of not just an “in-law,” but my friend.

When I met Joshua I had no idea that besides getting a wonderful husband I’d also be gaining two terrific sisters. That’s a bonus I didn’t foresee, but I’m so very grateful for it. I’ve become friends with both Christen and Jennifer, but for now I’ll just write about Christen (seeing as it’s her birthday and all). I have especially been appreciating having Christen as my sister-friend lately as we’ve been able to discuss and sympathize with each other through all the various ups and downs of motherhood. We can talk spit-up and poopy diapers, nursing, those wonderful cuddle times and the roller coaster emotions that go with all of that. It means so much to me to have someone my own age to talk to who listens and cares.

Christen, I had no idea when I first met you almost five years ago that we’d be friends like we are now. You are a blessing to me. I pray that God would give you His joy and hope and that He would bless you with His presence in this next year of your life.

Happy Birthday!

A Glimpse of What I See

the girl with golden curls dances
her daddy smiles
and gently strums his guitar

Ooh, the Pretties!

Tonight we ate dinner at our dining room table for the first time in over a week. Why, you ask? You see, my talented husband has replaced our old, duct-taped dining room flooring with a very pretty handmade wood floor. Joshua cut out “tiles” from thin sheets of wood and then stained them, sanded them and coated them with Polyurethane. He scraped up the old vinyl tiles and then glued (and nailed in some places) the new wood tiles in place. He then coated the whole floor with three more coats of Polyurethane (a very stinky job for which the kids and I escaped the house.) He is still working on cutting and staining the molding for the edges of the floor but at least the room was finished enough so that we could enjoy a somewhat normal dinner instead of picnicking in the living room.

The beginning stages of cutting and measuring. Notice Joshua’s cute assistant.


He had quite the weights system going on to keep pressure on the tiles while the glue dried.

Now ain’t that a pretty sight? I’m so proud of our new floor. Malachi had graciously accepted the responsibility of breaking it in by throwing one of his larger trucks smack dab in the middle of the room and then spitting on it as well. (Boys!)

Next project: the kitchen floor (cue ominous music.) I’m so glad that I married such a handy man.

Happy Birthday, Gabrielle!

Today, December 27th, is my baby sister’s birthday. Even though I can hardly remember back to a time when I was actually taller than she was, Gaby will never cease to be my “baby sister.”

I wish I could wax eloquent and say wonderful sentimental things about how great Gaby is and how much she means to me, but to do that I would need many more brain cells than are currently functioning for me at this moment. So I will content myself with saying simply that I’m glad that I get to be Gaby’s sister and I’m ever grateful that I got to grow up along side her and be a part of the same family with her. I’m glad she is who she is and I’m glad that she had a part in making me who I am.

Thank you, Gaby for being my friend. I pray that Yahweh would bless you with a waterfall of His blessings and an ever increasing love for Him.
I love you, Baby Sister.

Happy Birthday!

My Baby Got Belly

I’m at that point in this pregnancy where I’m afraid to venture out into public for fear of offending people with my largeness. I can’t imagine why I’m feeling this way since everyone has been so kind in their comments to me:

“You’re looking very pregnant!” “Maybe you’re having twins.” “When are you due? You look ready!” “Are you sure you’re not having twins?”

I fully realize that I’m roughly the size of a well-built water buffalo, but I really think I could do without the constant reminders. Thankfully, my husband is enraptured with my growing belly and can’t tell me enough how cute he thinks I am. And I don’t mind remarks made by those women who are still in their childbearing years. I know they understand what it’s like to be at this stage where as the older folks seem to have forgotten what it feels like to grow a belly deserving of its own area code.

Well, I guess I’ll just have to get used to the various comments I’ll be receiving for the next month and a half or so because after this baby is born I’ll have to get used to hearing “What a big boy/girl you have! He/she must be such a good eater!”

Sigh.

More Mouse Head, Please

Recently Barb had written about how when she was growing up her family would sometimes have Pancakes for Dinner. We had one such dinner last night. Payday was two days away and I hadn’t a clue what to fix for dinner. I remembered that we had been given a Mickey Mouse waffle iron that we hadn’t used yet and I thought the kids would enjoy having mouse head-shaped waffles. And boy, did they! Both kids got such a kick out of eating “mouse heads” for dinner and they scarfed them right down. It was rather amusing to hear them say in their cute toddler voices, “More mouse head, please?”

And so another great memory was made, not because I planned some elaborate family-bonding scheme, but simply because it was the end of the pay period and I had to scramble to get something for dinner. Isn’t that just the way life goes?

The Winners of the Name Game

For those of you who care, these are the names we have picked for our baby.

And the winners are...

If Baby Buddy is a boy then his name will be... Lucius Adoniram
Lucius means “light” and Adoniram means “my lord is exalted.”

If Baby Buddy is a girl then her name will be... Evangeline Felicity
Evangeline means “good news” and Felicity means “happiness.”

I’m getting very eager to meet our little one and find out which of these names he/she will bear. Only 53 days (or so) to go!

This One’s For You, Anonymous

Here’s how one of the portraits looks in a sepia tone. Thanks for the tip!

Pregnancy Portraits

Here are some pictures of Mommy and Baby Buddy. I call this series "The Big and the Beautiful."

A Sabbath Thought

Today Joshua and I took the kids on a walk as we usually do on Sabbath afternoons and then we let them run around in the school parking lot behind our house. They were happily running and yelling when Lily came up to us and asked if we could pray for Great-Grandma. We were a little confused, but we certainly didn’t want to say “No” to such a request. So there we were, standing in a parking lot, holding hands and praying. Lily had no idea that her suggestion was a little out of the ordinary and socially strange and that we adults felt just a tiny bit odd doing it. She just knew that it’s good to pray all the time- no matter where you are.

Don’t you wish we could all be more childlike and not worry about what people think of us? How different the world would be if Christians would stop letting the fear of man control our actions!

Sometimes I need a three-year-old to remind me of that.

Oh, God, may we never be ashamed of Your Gospel. May we always be willing fools for You.
Amen.

December 8th is National Brownie Day!

In honor of this special day I thought I’d share two of my favorite brownie recipes for your taste enjoyment (thanks to Barb for the Candy Bar Brownie recipe.)

Happy Brownie Day!


Deep Dish Brownies (Originally from Allrecipes.com)

3/4 cup butter, melted
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 eggs
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease an 8 inch square pan.
In a large bowl, blend melted butter, sugar and vanilla. Beat in eggs one at a time. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Gradually blend into the egg mixture. Spread the batter into the prepared pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 40 to 45 minutes, or until brownies begin to pull away from the sides of the pan. Let brownies cool, then cut into squares.


Candy Bar Brownies

4 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla
1-1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup cocoa
4 (2.07 oz size) Snickers Bars, coarsely chopped
3 (1.55 oz size) Hershey Bars, finely chopped

Combine first 4 ingredients in a large bowl; stir well.
Combine flour and next 3 ingredients; stir in sugar mixture. Fold in chopped Snickers bars.
Spoon in to a greased and floured 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan; sprinkle with chopped milk chocolate bars. Bake at 350-degrees for 30-35 minutes. Cool in pan on a wire rack; cut in to squares.
Yield: 2-1/2 dozen

The Mind of a Three-Year-Old

Today Lily and I were looking at my expanding midriff and talking about how big Baby Buddy is getting. I asked Lily if she thought the baby would get even bigger. She looked upset and said adamantly, “The baby won’t get bigger- your belly will break!”



As the kids and I have been reading through Matthew during our morning Bible reading time I’ve been talking to them about Jesus' name Emmanuel and how it means “God with us.” I said that since Jesus came to be with us we don’t need to be afraid of sin or death anymore. Lily, always eager to add her two cents said, “And we don’t have to be afraid of cows anymore, too.”

Public Opinion Poll

Here’s a question for you all: How many kids does it take to make a family “large?”

I don't consider a family big until there are at least five or six kids. Growing up in a family of five kids I never felt like there were that many of us, but I’m guessing that from a mother’s viewpoint five could seem like a lot to keep track of. (Honestly though, two seem like a lot at times!)

So what do you think?

Cheers!

It started out as a spontaneous thing: we were having our bi-monthly group dinner and at this particular dinner were celebrating Barb’s birthday. The dinner had a fiesta theme so we all had margaritas. After all the food was served I suddenly had the urge to toast my friend on this her birthday celebration. I stood and said my toast and we all raised our glasses in a salute to Barb. Since then it has become a tradition in our group to give a toast to whoever’s birthday we are celebrating.

Whenever I know there is a birthday coming up I always make sure that someone will be bringing some sort of special drink. We usually have something alcoholic (like wine) for those who can have fun and something non-alcoholic for the pregnant and under-aged in the group. I’ll then assign someone ahead of time to give the toast so that they have some time to come up with something appropriate to say. We‘ve had a wide range of toast styles, from Barb’s touching toast to Patty: “It’s been a joy to get to know you and watch you grow as a Christian...” to Dad’s humorous toast for Joshua: “May you never become better at golf than I am...” This tradition that started out as a spontaneous thing has turned into a really special time for our little group. It’s one more part of the glue that binds us together.

It’s a strange company of people that meet here to share a meal. We are made up of six separate households of all different ages and stages of life. To an outsider I imagine we look a little odd all bunched together as we are, but that’s what’s so beautiful about our group. The only thing that we all have in common is the same Grace saved us all and that’s what makes us a family. Every other Thursday night we get a glimpse into what eternity will be like- all sorts of people of different ages and races all coming together for the great Wedding Feast.

Maybe sometimes we seem a little weird together. Maybe some people would think it odd that a fifty-something year old pastor could joke with a twenty something young man about the different explosions that can be created using only household objects. Our dinners may sometimes look like a comedy scene straight from a sitcom, but we’re bound together in a wonderful way that I don’t really understand and really don‘t need to.

So whether we’re discussing explosions or honoring someone with a birthday toast, we are encouraging each other with the hope of enjoying this beautiful togetherness for all eternity when we will be toasting our Jesus with the finest wine perfection has to offer.

I’ll drink to that.

Enveloping

The Sky Cried Today

The sky cried today-
I wept at what it had to say.
It grieved for the pain it sees us bear,
For the children groaning with despair,
For the bleeding hearts that daily break
And our moaning from the throbbing ache.

The sun couldn’t bear to shine today
It hid its face and looked away
I tried to comfort the weeping skies,
But couldn’t- for the tears were in my own eyes.